Little Sister's Birthday Party

Today we had a small birthday party for Little Sister. It was supposed to be a Teddy Bear Picnic, since she loves to sing "Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, Turn Around" and another cute little bear song. I had visions of picnic blankets with bears and baskets and a visit to the playground.

But the weekend kind of snuck up on me and many people were busy for Memorial Day weekend, so we kept it small.

And then it rained all morning so we kept it even smaller. And even made it a little later.

It was still a cute little party.



We let Little Sis open one of her gifts to find some more fun picnic toys.

We'll work on the hula hoop...

Next it was time for some Teddy Bear cupcakes.

Little Sister helped sing to herself.

And Big Sister (and Shep) helped blow out the candles.

I think everyone liked the cake.

As soon as we finished singing the birthday song, it started pouring. It was quite loud on the new tin roof!


But the rain provided the entertainment for the kiddos...

...and the grown-ups who watched them!


In this picture, Little Sis is trying to stick her head in the puddle.


She did it. Numerous times. See her hair?

The kids had so much fun in the puddles, it was hard to get Little Sister to stop to open her gifts. But about halfway through, the rain picked up and a storm blew in.

We tried to wait it out, but the lightning and thunder were getting crazier (and scarier) and the rain would not let up. We eventually pulled our cars as close as possible and raced to pack everything up.

It was a good thing we didn't wait any longer. We made it out just as the roads began to flood!

The girls were soaked and sleepy as we drove home. As Aunt Lala said, "We definitely know how to throw memorable parties!" Thanks to those of you who braved the elements to celebrate with us, and those of you who wished Little Sis a Happy Birthday from wherever you are.

Song for Sunday: for my second child

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Happy Birthday, Little Sister

Yesterday my big girl graduated from preschool, and today my baby girl turns two.

Sigh.





Happy Birthday, Little Sister. Your beauty, silliness, and determination have brightened our world for two years now.


What a blessing you are!

The Graduate

Big Sister never seemed so big.

She said her lines and sang her songs.

She marched across the stage veeeerrrryyy intentionally and very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that it made the rest of us tickled. (I don't have a photo of this because I was taking pics with the teacher's camera during the ceremony. I'll try to post one soon.)

Then she had snacks and cake and celebrated with her classmates...

...and those wonderful teachers I mentioned in this post.

She posed for pictures.



And then we went to celebrate her big day as a family. We actually went back to the place we took her exactly two years before, when we wanted to celebrate Big Sister's last evening as an only child- Chuck E Cheese!

It was a great way to end a special day.

I can't believe how grown up she looks!


I'm VERY proud to be your mommy, Big Sister.

A new system

The other day, when I was beginning to lose faith in my ability to raise and/or discipline children, I asked Big Sister out of frustration, "Why do you behave at school and at church?! Why do you only act like this for me?!"

Her answer? "Because at school I get smileys."

Let me explain these "smileys." They are Smiley Faces that were drawn in her communication folder on a daily basis. There were categories such as "listening" or "being kind to friends." If a child did these things during the day, the teachers drew a smiley face for the parents to see and celebrate. If not, the teachers drew apathetic or sad faces to let parents know of a problem.

That's it. No classroom rewards; no other incentives. Just smileys. And a reliance on parental support to reinforce the system.

Now, Big Sister has the most wonderful teachers in the world. I don't know if any other teachers will ever live up to the standards they have set. And as simple as their plan seemed (and in early childhood they are limited a lot more than in the elementary school system, by the way) it worked for Big Sister. She got ONE apathetic, straight lined mouth smiley. ONCE.

Every day when I picked her up, she asked, "All smileys mom?" as I signed her folder. It was apparently all the motivation she needed.

So, here I was, in the middle of dealing with a crazy tantrum, when she tells me she behaves for the "smileys." I sighed, and tried to explain through gritted teeth that the smileys were just a way for Moms & Dads to know how kids behaved and deal with it at home. Which was what we were doing, right then & there...

But she's four. And she doesn't get the similarities. Because there are no smileys.

Or there were no smileys. Because I took this comment, prayed about it, thought about my classroom management and behavior philosophies when I was teaching (by the way, I've got a post brewing about how that ruined my chances at being a normal mom... stay tuned), and read a few books. And I came up with my own smiley chart.

Big Sister now has a chance to earn nine smileys every day. Some are very easy for her, and others are problem areas like "attitude with Little Sis" or "cooperation at bedtime." That way, she has small victories and new challenges.

I added a reward when she earns all smileys and has a "perfect" day. She picks a card with something like "put $0.50 in your bank" or "stay up ten minutes late" or "play a video game with Mommy & Daddy" or "draw from the goody bag."

I've also tried to remind her that one mistake doesn't ruin everything. That we all make mistakes but that it's how we learn and recover from them that makes a difference.

And guess what?

Since Sunday, she has had THREE "perfect" days.

We're seeing a LOT of smileys. And not all of them are on paper.

Watermelon and such...

Yesterday I shared a picture of my girls enjoying their first watermelon of the season on Sunday.

I'm usually one of those people who waits to buy watermelon until Memorial day. Or until it gets under $5, whichever comes first!

But on Sunday, our church hosted an end of the year celebration at a local elementary school. My girls napped until it was almost over, but I woke them up with a half-an-hour to spare, knowing that if we just made it to the petting zoo and pony rides, they'd be happy campers.

We did just that. Both girls rode ponies, petted cute baby goats, picked up a rooster(!?) and snuggled baby bunnies.

They also had super-melty, super-messy ice cream cones.

Then we went to the school playground for a few minutes. It was made for bigger kids, and was definitely not made for toddlers who insisted on wearing Ariel flip-flops two sizes too big for them. But they had fun, until Big Sister tried the tire swing.

Let's just say that riding the tire swing with the big kids is a lot different than the few times she's gone by herself at church. She has a HUGE strawberry on her shoulder and a scrape on her arm to prove it.

She was super brave. Lots of love & attention, some quickly obtained ice, and the fact that her old boyfriend from the four-year-old class put his arm around her probably helped.
You can see her arm war wound faintly in the watermelon picture.

Which brings me back to the watermelon and why I paid too much too early... as we were leaving the playground, Little Sis found some watermelon. Someone else's watermelon... rind.

She found it, began to scrape & scoop it with her little fingers, and eat it.

As I carried her away from that nastiness kicking & screaming, I promised we would stop at the grocery store and get her some watermelon. We had such a good time, I threw in some way-too-expensive juice in novelty reusable bottles and a bag of Cheetos.

It was a celebration, after all.

Yum

Our first watermelon of the season.


Bring on the summer!

Song for Sunday

You are Holy
By The Martins
(and me, along with two fabulous ladies, in church today)

Lord, our eyes are weak and we're blinded
To the truth of who we are
Every time we look, we're reminded 
Of the things that stain our hearts

For you are holy, holy
Holy are you, Lord
And you are worthy, worthy
Worthy are you, Lord

Why does your mercy come
Like the morning
And your light to spell my dark?
Lord, I don't deserve
The love that restores me
And I'm humbled by your heart

For you are holy, holy
Holy are you, Lord
And you are worthy, worthy
Worthy are you, Lord

Oh, you reign in majesty
And we fall on a bended knee
To praise your name, 
all of our days
May the story of our lives
Be worship in your eyes
Let our hearts shout of your glory! 

You are holy, holy
Holy are you, Lord
You are worthy, worthy
Holy are you, Lord

Barely hanging on...

This weekend has been a rough one for me.

Just when I thought maybe I was gaining ground on this whole patience thing, my children took it to a whole new level.

A level that includes kicking and hitting and screaming and public tantrums. Four in the last week. I am afraid to go anywhere with my children lest they have another one.

Big Sister has an ear infection, so that explains a little bit. But not all.

I've tried everything I know to try. Including a lot of yelling. Which I had been trying NOT to do.

I've had a lot of support from some great Mommy-friends. It's helped me to see that I'm not alone. And that I'm not completely single-handedly screwing up my children.

But I am still feeling discouraged and disappointed in myself.

This evening I finally won a power struggle with Big Sister by remaining calm and ignoring her aggression and giving her some choices/consequences. I stood my ground and it worked. But it took being in our own home (so she could cool down in her room), having Little Sis out of the house, and patience I didn't even know I still had left. Still, it re-infused a little hope into my weary Mommy-soul.

But I'm still feeling the depletion.

On the bright side, I'm reminded of my frail humanity and my utter dependence on God. It makes me think of that line from Derek Webb's Mockingbird, "I'll do all I can/to be a better man/I'll clean up this act/and be worse than when I started..."

There is a verse I've been coming across LOTS lately. I wrote it out & stuck it where I could see it every morning. It's Isaiah 40:11.

"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young."

Thanks to all of you who are being the gentle hands of the Shepherd, encouraging moms like me. I think I'm just going to rest here, close to His heart, for a bit.

Old friends...

Last night we met up with some good friends from our time in Birmingham.

The boys talked theology. A lot. It was good for them to catch up and pick each others' brains, I'm sure.


The (little) girls kept themselves (and us) entertained.


And the (big) girls kept an eye on them.

We ate too much and kept the kids up too late, but it was worth it.


A wonderful time with wonderful people. I wish we could see each other more often!

Bright spot

It was a rough day (I think my kids know I'm trying to be more patient) but I'm going to focus on the good. Like this...


Little Sister, all snuggly after her nap, snacking and singing "If you're happy and you know it." And sporting mismatched BabyLegs. This morning she insisted on wearing one on her arm, even to the meadows. There, the girls and their friends got to meet the new donkeys. Little Sis called them monkeys. And alligators (!?)

There were all sorts of moments today I'd like to forget.

But these- I'd like to hang on to them for a while.

What's in a name?

I just tucked the girls in to bed (for the second time). When I leave we always say "goodnight" to each other, one more time. Tonight, Little Sister decided to forgo "Mommy" and called me by my name! I got so tickled that I had to whisper a quick "I love you" and head out the door.

Little Sister is just figuring out names. She's known the names of her friends and teachers for ages. But lately she has become obsessed with ours. And her own.

I think it started one night when she was especially restless before bed. Sometimes I pull the blankets around her all snuggly-ish, rub her back, and talk to her with a soothing whisper. I tell her things like how comfy her bed and covers are, and how she is going to close her eyes and snuggle to sleep, so she can drift into dreamland and have wonderful, peaceful, happy dreams. It's her little "sleep pep talk." At the end of it, I'll say "goodnight" again.

Apparently this time, I said, "Goodnight, kiddo."

Forget the peptalk. Those drowsy, half-closed eyes popped wide open as she told me "name's [Little Sis]. Say 'Goodnight Little Sis.'" It took me a few times to know what in the world she was saying, so I had to start the whole thing over again. You can be sure that I said her name the next time.

The same thing has happened if I call her "kiddo" or "sweetie" while fixing breakfast, buckling her carseat or building blocks. I won't even realize that I've said anything out of the ordinary, but there she is, patting herself on the chest and declaring her name, which at that point might as well be Tarzan.

The funny thing is that now she likes the nicknames, some of the time. Some days she'll ask me to say "goodnight Kiddo." And today, when I asked her what her name was, she insisted it was "Sweetie." Although, with her cute little toddler talk, it sounds more like "Sveetie."

And of course, all of this talk about her name has lead me to ask her about my name. She always just answers, "Mommy." And, even though months ago she beckoned for her dad using his first name in a tone I must admit to using to bellow down the steps when I needed a hand for a tricky diaper change, "Daddy" has been the only answer for his name, too.

Little Ones don't have a sense of anything or anyone outside of their own little world. In my psych and education classes we called it egocentrism. In our house we just call it life.

I'll admit, on some of the dark days I've had in the recent months, I resented only being seen as "mommy." But as the clouds are lifting I'm remembering the wonder and potential with which I once approached the role. Thank God for that.

And thank God for those exhausting, demanding, egocentric... adorable, entertaining, ever-changing little girls.