The black ballerinas

This post was originally going to be a few lines of witty observation, based on the picture below. But as I wrote, it turned into an essay about race and parenting. As it was not my original intention and a little "off the cuff" I welcome your feedback (I always do, anyway!)


When I saw Big Sister's coloring page from dance the other day, I had all kinds of thoughts. First, I thought that she colored very well. I know I'm slightly biased, but I don't think most 4 1/2-year-olds stay in the lines like this.

And, she is at least thinking about diversity. Not every ballerina looks exactly the same, or exactly like her. I appreciate that she included some African American dancers.

However, every single girl, regardless of race, has yellow-blonde hair. Which strikes me as odd not just for obvious reasons, but also because Big Sis herself has hair that is more brown than blonde. And neither of her favorite princesses, Jasmine & Ariel, have blonde hair. Even her favorite fairy of Pixie Hollow is not fair-haired Tink but Silvermist, whose long locks are jet black.

I am also a little concerned that the white (yellow?) dancers and black dancers seem to have different uniforms. But I was trying not to read too much into this. Big Sis has a pink leotard and a black one, and loves them both, so surely she just wanted them represented here. Right?

Lastly, after taking a long look at the dancer demonstrating 4th position, I think we need to have a long discussion about people with mixed-ethnicity. Ha!



Of course, you might think I'm reading too much into this, mostly for the sake of our entertainment. But isn't that what we do when it comes to kids and race (or any other obvious physical difference?) It's easy to get concerned or embarrassed when they notice (and God-forbid they say something out loud). Instead of embracing opportunities to talk about diversity, we tell kids it's "not nice to talk about those sorts of things" or that "we're all the same."

Well, neither one of those things is entirely true or fair to tell kids who are learning about their world with assimilation and accommodation. Watered down, these terms from Piaget basically mean that kids are trying to see how new information fits into their limited understanding of the world or adjust their worlds to include the new information.

People with noticeable differences from us, whether it be race or size or hair color or a disability or whatever, offer new information to a young child. Sometimes it can be very nice, and healthy, to discuss what makes someone special. Much nicer than pretending they don't exist, or whispering about their differences, or leaving kids to figure it out from people who have no problem being vocal about their... ahem... "opinions".

I remember a long time ago, when Big Sister first came home from school unhappy. She had three teachers, and one was more firm with her than others. She didn't know how to express this, and instead she told me she didn't like her teacher because she had "brown skin." Hubby wanted to know "Where this was coming from!?" but I knew that kids sometimes come up with these things without any help- and it's whether or not we reinforce them that matters. We had to talk about it.

So we did. And in part of the conversation we basically listed everyone we knew, those she liked and those she didn't. And we talked about their skin color, and how it had nothing to do with what makes a person likeable. It was a little awkward, but absolutely necessary. I also cautioned her that people don't often like to talk about these things, and that talking about it in certain circumstances could be very hurtful to someone, even if that is never her intent. But I also want to be sure that she can talk about anything with us.

I should also note that in the time since then, she has declared her intentions of marrying only two people: one was a worker in the school cafeteria, another her best friend at school. Both are African American. So much for not liking people with different skin- thank goodness!

It is my hope that in the not-so-distant future, we'll be a family who welcomes- and maybe even adopts- foster children. I do not expect those children to always look like us, and I want my children to understand this: While race is a valuable part of who they are, it is not a part that makes them any more or less precious (to God or to us) than anyone else.

It's amazing the things we may communicate about race without even thinking. For example, until recently, all my girls had were white dolls. I didn't really think about it, but thank goodness for Princess Tiana and a precious rag doll named Baby Michael (thanks P & N!). Now if only we could track down that Mulan doll, we'll start being really multi-cultural around here. ;)

When I asked Big Sister about the ballerina picture, I found out I wasn't really over-thinking it at all. She told me they were "on different teams." Why? Because "black people have different music." WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOU HEAR THAT?! (I'm imagining a crotchety older relative or a redneck classmate, and I'm fuming...) But no, she heard it from her friend, the only little black girl in her class.

Thus began another conversation.

So yeah, I may over-analyze the racial makeup of a group of illustrated ballerinas. For one thing, it can offer a little entertainment. But for another, it can also offer an opportunity to talk about something very important. It can provide some insight into what I'm teaching my child about God's children all around her. And into what other people are telling her when I'm not around.

What do you think?