Bring on the summer!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Song for Sunday
You are Holy
By The Martins
(and me, along with two fabulous ladies, in church today)
By The Martins
(and me, along with two fabulous ladies, in church today)
Lord, our eyes are weak and we're blinded
To the truth of who we are
Every time we look, we're reminded
Of the things that stain our hearts
For you are holy, holy
Holy are you, Lord
And you are worthy, worthy
Worthy are you, Lord
Why does your mercy come
Like the morning
And your light to spell my dark?
Lord, I don't deserve
The love that restores me
And I'm humbled by your heart
For you are holy, holy
Holy are you, Lord
And you are worthy, worthy
Worthy are you, Lord
Oh, you reign in majesty
And we fall on a bended knee
To praise your name,
all of our days
May the story of our lives
Be worship in your eyes
Let our hearts shout of your glory!
You are holy, holy
Holy are you, Lord
You are worthy, worthy
Holy are you, Lord
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Barely hanging on...
This weekend has been a rough one for me.
Just when I thought maybe I was gaining ground on this whole patience thing, my children took it to a whole new level.
A level that includes kicking and hitting and screaming and public tantrums. Four in the last week. I am afraid to go anywhere with my children lest they have another one.
Big Sister has an ear infection, so that explains a little bit. But not all.
I've tried everything I know to try. Including a lot of yelling. Which I had been trying NOT to do.
I've had a lot of support from some great Mommy-friends. It's helped me to see that I'm not alone. And that I'm not completely single-handedly screwing up my children.
But I am still feeling discouraged and disappointed in myself.
This evening I finally won a power struggle with Big Sister by remaining calm and ignoring her aggression and giving her some choices/consequences. I stood my ground and it worked. But it took being in our own home (so she could cool down in her room), having Little Sis out of the house, and patience I didn't even know I still had left. Still, it re-infused a little hope into my weary Mommy-soul.
But I'm still feeling the depletion.
On the bright side, I'm reminded of my frail humanity and my utter dependence on God. It makes me think of that line from Derek Webb's Mockingbird, "I'll do all I can/to be a better man/I'll clean up this act/and be worse than when I started..."
There is a verse I've been coming across LOTS lately. I wrote it out & stuck it where I could see it every morning. It's Isaiah 40:11.
"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young."
Thanks to all of you who are being the gentle hands of the Shepherd, encouraging moms like me. I think I'm just going to rest here, close to His heart, for a bit.
Just when I thought maybe I was gaining ground on this whole patience thing, my children took it to a whole new level.
A level that includes kicking and hitting and screaming and public tantrums. Four in the last week. I am afraid to go anywhere with my children lest they have another one.
Big Sister has an ear infection, so that explains a little bit. But not all.
I've tried everything I know to try. Including a lot of yelling. Which I had been trying NOT to do.
I've had a lot of support from some great Mommy-friends. It's helped me to see that I'm not alone. And that I'm not completely single-handedly screwing up my children.
But I am still feeling discouraged and disappointed in myself.
This evening I finally won a power struggle with Big Sister by remaining calm and ignoring her aggression and giving her some choices/consequences. I stood my ground and it worked. But it took being in our own home (so she could cool down in her room), having Little Sis out of the house, and patience I didn't even know I still had left. Still, it re-infused a little hope into my weary Mommy-soul.
But I'm still feeling the depletion.
On the bright side, I'm reminded of my frail humanity and my utter dependence on God. It makes me think of that line from Derek Webb's Mockingbird, "I'll do all I can/to be a better man/I'll clean up this act/and be worse than when I started..."
There is a verse I've been coming across LOTS lately. I wrote it out & stuck it where I could see it every morning. It's Isaiah 40:11.
"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young."
Thanks to all of you who are being the gentle hands of the Shepherd, encouraging moms like me. I think I'm just going to rest here, close to His heart, for a bit.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Old friends...
Last night we met up with some good friends from our time in Birmingham.
The boys talked theology. A lot. It was good for them to catch up and pick each others' brains, I'm sure.
The (little) girls kept themselves (and us) entertained.
And the (big) girls kept an eye on them.
We ate too much and kept the kids up too late, but it was worth it.
A wonderful time with wonderful people. I wish we could see each other more often!
The boys talked theology. A lot. It was good for them to catch up and pick each others' brains, I'm sure.
The (little) girls kept themselves (and us) entertained.
And the (big) girls kept an eye on them.
We ate too much and kept the kids up too late, but it was worth it.
A wonderful time with wonderful people. I wish we could see each other more often!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Bright spot
It was a rough day (I think my kids know I'm trying to be more patient) but I'm going to focus on the good. Like this...
Little Sister, all snuggly after her nap, snacking and singing "If you're happy and you know it." And sporting mismatched BabyLegs. This morning she insisted on wearing one on her arm, even to the meadows. There, the girls and their friends got to meet the new donkeys. Little Sis called them monkeys. And alligators (!?)
There were all sorts of moments today I'd like to forget.
But these- I'd like to hang on to them for a while.
Little Sister, all snuggly after her nap, snacking and singing "If you're happy and you know it." And sporting mismatched BabyLegs. This morning she insisted on wearing one on her arm, even to the meadows. There, the girls and their friends got to meet the new donkeys. Little Sis called them monkeys. And alligators (!?)
There were all sorts of moments today I'd like to forget.
But these- I'd like to hang on to them for a while.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
What's in a name?
I just tucked the girls in to bed (for the second time). When I leave we always say "goodnight" to each other, one more time. Tonight, Little Sister decided to forgo "Mommy" and called me by my name! I got so tickled that I had to whisper a quick "I love you" and head out the door.
Little Sister is just figuring out names. She's known the names of her friends and teachers for ages. But lately she has become obsessed with ours. And her own.
I think it started one night when she was especially restless before bed. Sometimes I pull the blankets around her all snuggly-ish, rub her back, and talk to her with a soothing whisper. I tell her things like how comfy her bed and covers are, and how she is going to close her eyes and snuggle to sleep, so she can drift into dreamland and have wonderful, peaceful, happy dreams. It's her little "sleep pep talk." At the end of it, I'll say "goodnight" again.
Apparently this time, I said, "Goodnight, kiddo."
Forget the peptalk. Those drowsy, half-closed eyes popped wide open as she told me "name's [Little Sis]. Say 'Goodnight Little Sis.'" It took me a few times to know what in the world she was saying, so I had to start the whole thing over again. You can be sure that I said her name the next time.
The same thing has happened if I call her "kiddo" or "sweetie" while fixing breakfast, buckling her carseat or building blocks. I won't even realize that I've said anything out of the ordinary, but there she is, patting herself on the chest and declaring her name, which at that point might as well be Tarzan.
The funny thing is that now she likes the nicknames, some of the time. Some days she'll ask me to say "goodnight Kiddo." And today, when I asked her what her name was, she insisted it was "Sweetie." Although, with her cute little toddler talk, it sounds more like "Sveetie."
And of course, all of this talk about her name has lead me to ask her about my name. She always just answers, "Mommy." And, even though months ago she beckoned for her dad using his first name in a tone I must admit to using to bellow down the steps when I needed a hand for a tricky diaper change, "Daddy" has been the only answer for his name, too.
Little Ones don't have a sense of anything or anyone outside of their own little world. In my psych and education classes we called it egocentrism. In our house we just call it life.
I'll admit, on some of the dark days I've had in the recent months, I resented only being seen as "mommy." But as the clouds are lifting I'm remembering the wonder and potential with which I once approached the role. Thank God for that.
And thank God for those exhausting, demanding, egocentric... adorable, entertaining, ever-changing little girls.
Little Sister is just figuring out names. She's known the names of her friends and teachers for ages. But lately she has become obsessed with ours. And her own.
I think it started one night when she was especially restless before bed. Sometimes I pull the blankets around her all snuggly-ish, rub her back, and talk to her with a soothing whisper. I tell her things like how comfy her bed and covers are, and how she is going to close her eyes and snuggle to sleep, so she can drift into dreamland and have wonderful, peaceful, happy dreams. It's her little "sleep pep talk." At the end of it, I'll say "goodnight" again.
Apparently this time, I said, "Goodnight, kiddo."
Forget the peptalk. Those drowsy, half-closed eyes popped wide open as she told me "name's [Little Sis]. Say 'Goodnight Little Sis.'" It took me a few times to know what in the world she was saying, so I had to start the whole thing over again. You can be sure that I said her name the next time.
The same thing has happened if I call her "kiddo" or "sweetie" while fixing breakfast, buckling her carseat or building blocks. I won't even realize that I've said anything out of the ordinary, but there she is, patting herself on the chest and declaring her name, which at that point might as well be Tarzan.
The funny thing is that now she likes the nicknames, some of the time. Some days she'll ask me to say "goodnight Kiddo." And today, when I asked her what her name was, she insisted it was "Sweetie." Although, with her cute little toddler talk, it sounds more like "Sveetie."
And of course, all of this talk about her name has lead me to ask her about my name. She always just answers, "Mommy." And, even though months ago she beckoned for her dad using his first name in a tone I must admit to using to bellow down the steps when I needed a hand for a tricky diaper change, "Daddy" has been the only answer for his name, too.
Little Ones don't have a sense of anything or anyone outside of their own little world. In my psych and education classes we called it egocentrism. In our house we just call it life.
I'll admit, on some of the dark days I've had in the recent months, I resented only being seen as "mommy." But as the clouds are lifting I'm remembering the wonder and potential with which I once approached the role. Thank God for that.
And thank God for those exhausting, demanding, egocentric... adorable, entertaining, ever-changing little girls.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Just what I needed
Somehow (okay, really, I know how. I was wasting WAY too much time on facebook and looking at some stranger's page to see if they were connected to some other person I barely knew when) I came across the two blogs I am going to share with you today.
When I clicked on the first link, I'm pretty sure the clouds parted, rays of sunshine spilled forth over the keyboard, and choirs of angels began singing. I found Christian women, staying at home with their children, and embracing it as a calling. They are being proactive and intentional with their time, their resources, and their children's hearts. Their blogs include all kinds of fun things like recipes and organization tips. But more importantly, they include ideas about weekly Mommy retreats and Mommy Mission Statements.
Sound silly? Maybe to you. But I've been just doggy-paddling for so long. Keeping my head above water. I know I should be making progress in some direction, but the rising water all around me just made me discouraged. And disoriented. I needed to know where I should be heading. I needed a shore to gaze upon and a plan to get me there. And I needed to know that I could make it before my body (read: sanity) completely gave out.
About a month ago, I decided to make a change. I started getting up early, sneaking downstairs to enjoy the quiet. As Fergie might say to find my "center, clarity, peace, serenity" (PLEASE tell me someone knows that song!) To spend some quality time with God and pray for patience to make it through the days. And it worked, for a bit.
And then, if you recall, Little Sister had tubes put in her ears. And her sleeping habits went haywire. I was up with her during the night, and then she was up before 6. And Big Sister decided she was too afraid to go back to sleep without her sister. So much for Mommy getting up before the kids.
Well, the sleep schedule has finally gotten back to normal. And I've been trying to get up again. I've also been praying for patience, but it just isn't coming fast enough. ;)
But after being inspired by these blogs, I've found another way to take action. And since I came down with something (sinus infection?) Saturday night, I had all Sunday morning by myself to work on it. I've drafted my own mission statement for this stage in my life. And I worked on a weekly plan for meals, errands, outings and activities with my girls. I had a (sort of) plan (kind of) filed away in my head (nearly) each week, but it was obviously not affording me the structure or sanity I needed. So I took action.
My next steps include decluttering and making more time for exercise. And limiting my time on the computer (seriously, who needs to check their friend's status updates that frequently?!) But mostly, I'm just going to work to make each small step a habit, not just a new thing to try.
I almost forgot! Here are my new favorite blogs:
Inspired to Action
Passionate Homemaking
Enjoy! And if you feel led, take action!
When I clicked on the first link, I'm pretty sure the clouds parted, rays of sunshine spilled forth over the keyboard, and choirs of angels began singing. I found Christian women, staying at home with their children, and embracing it as a calling. They are being proactive and intentional with their time, their resources, and their children's hearts. Their blogs include all kinds of fun things like recipes and organization tips. But more importantly, they include ideas about weekly Mommy retreats and Mommy Mission Statements.
Sound silly? Maybe to you. But I've been just doggy-paddling for so long. Keeping my head above water. I know I should be making progress in some direction, but the rising water all around me just made me discouraged. And disoriented. I needed to know where I should be heading. I needed a shore to gaze upon and a plan to get me there. And I needed to know that I could make it before my body (read: sanity) completely gave out.
About a month ago, I decided to make a change. I started getting up early, sneaking downstairs to enjoy the quiet. As Fergie might say to find my "center, clarity, peace, serenity" (PLEASE tell me someone knows that song!) To spend some quality time with God and pray for patience to make it through the days. And it worked, for a bit.
And then, if you recall, Little Sister had tubes put in her ears. And her sleeping habits went haywire. I was up with her during the night, and then she was up before 6. And Big Sister decided she was too afraid to go back to sleep without her sister. So much for Mommy getting up before the kids.
Well, the sleep schedule has finally gotten back to normal. And I've been trying to get up again. I've also been praying for patience, but it just isn't coming fast enough. ;)
But after being inspired by these blogs, I've found another way to take action. And since I came down with something (sinus infection?) Saturday night, I had all Sunday morning by myself to work on it. I've drafted my own mission statement for this stage in my life. And I worked on a weekly plan for meals, errands, outings and activities with my girls. I had a (sort of) plan (kind of) filed away in my head (nearly) each week, but it was obviously not affording me the structure or sanity I needed. So I took action.
My next steps include decluttering and making more time for exercise. And limiting my time on the computer (seriously, who needs to check their friend's status updates that frequently?!) But mostly, I'm just going to work to make each small step a habit, not just a new thing to try.
I almost forgot! Here are my new favorite blogs:
Inspired to Action
Passionate Homemaking
Enjoy! And if you feel led, take action!
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