Remember in my last post, when I said all that stuff about motherhood and how wonderful it is? Just kidding.
No, it really is wonderful. And challenging. Sometimes
really challenging. Like when dealing with Big Sister and all of her recent drama. I'll never understand what makes pre-schoolers treat some simple everyday occurrences as if they were the end of the world as we know it (
and trust me, REM fans, no one feels fine.) As dramatic as I can be sometimes, I have very little patience for over-reaction. I try to appreciate the small blessings and (
note the word TRY) to take the small misfortunes in stride.
For instance, on Monday the weather was glorious. During Little Sister's morning nap, Big Sister and I took the baby monitor into the front yard and soaked up the Spring. We picked a few flowers, chased each other through the grass, sat on the porch and rocked, and even did a little yard work. When we came back in, we found that Sophie had also been having a wonderful time- eating Big Sister's cute new stationary set, which she got from Nana for Easter. The stickers were slobbery, the pencil had numerous tooth-marks, and the rainbow-colored heart erasers were... gone. Except for the few crumbs Sophie had left behind to remind Big Sister that they had, in fact, existed and therefore were to be missed. Sorely. Loudly.
Dramatically missed. When I finally remembered a small collection of erasers in Big Sister's treasure basket and let her pick one to replace the massacred rainbow hearts, the tears stopped almost immediately. She even started laughing. Not
I-conned-you-with-my-fake-fit laughing, but more like
I-am-just-at-a-loss-as-to-how-to-control-my-emotions laughing. Kind of reminded me of how I feel everytime I watch the
"Here, hit this" scene in Steel Magnolias. It was like PMS for pre-school.
So, Big Sis was all better- for a little while, anyway. Instead of the rainbow heart erasers, she had a little white rabbit one with pink ears. While I switched over the laundry, she made up a story about "SuperRabbit" and acted it out for me. She even had another adventure planned: "
SuperRabbit saves the Princess- coming soon!" I wish I had watched more closely, because SuperRabbit was not long for this world... but I'm getting ahead of myself.
After Little Sister woke up and we all had lunch, we went back outside to enjoy the day. There were a few moments there when I felt the utter completeness of my life. Two sweet girls, smelling like sunscreen, enjoying the breeze and the birdsong and even each other. Big Sister and I drew with Carrot-shaped sidewalk chalk (
from Easter)- she wanted to make pretend rules for the "beach" where we sat on a blanket. She drew a shady tree, then a red circle & a line through it. Apparently, there is to be nothing at the beach to interfere with Hannah's tan. Our rules got sillier- I drew a baby, eatting carrot-shaped chalk, and we circled & crossed it out as well, hoping to keep Little Sister from putting any more of our medium into her mouth. Then Little Sis and I moved to the porch and rocked while Big Sister pretended to be Ariel, swimming back & forth on the walkway in front of us. It was a little bit of Mommy-bliss.
Until Big Sister tripped. And fell. And began screaming. I put Little Sister back onto the blanket and scooped Big Sister up. I kissed her knees and promised a band-aid when we got back inside. In her toddler days, that would have been all she needed to resume playing for a few more minutes, or at least to help me gather everything up so we could go inside. Not anymore. She wailed and said she couldn't walk, let alone carry her chalk (so that I could carry Little Sis, the blanket, the monitor, etc...) Once inside, she wailed so loudly & so long that Little Sis became terrified (or at least sympathetic) and joined in. Even after the clean-up and patch-up process was over, she was still hollering. I finally raised my voice too, sounding a little like Cher in Moonstruck as I scolded her and told her to get it together. Almost immediately, she calmed down. But not for long.
At nap time, I had to convince her that she could straighten her legs (and that her knees would probably feel better that way.) I also had to make a very persuasive argument about how the body needs rest to heal and that napping would actually help, rather than hurt, her obviously traumatized legs. The only upside was that she was so worried about further injuring herself that she opted out of her naptime stories and instead laid in her bed, stiff as a board, which meant she fell asleep in record time.
I should mention here that it was during naptime when I saw Sophie happily chewing on something suspicious. I could tell by the pink ear I pried out of her mouth that she had added SuperRabbit to the long list of devoured toys. I tried to get rid of all of the evidence and said a prayer that Big Sister would forget about him amongst all of the skinned-knee drama.When Big Sister woke up from her nap, the drama began anew. She couldn't stand up after going potty because her knees hurt her so badly... I told her that was too bad, because I was getting ready to put away the extra erasers she had earned from the treasure chest for taking such a nice nap. She was miraculously healed. Of course, I had brought up erasers, so she set out to find SuperRabbit. I missed a piece, and she found evidence of his demise on the couch as we sat playing with her new erasers. Amazingly, she took it in stride. She was sad, but reminded herself (and me) that she had lots of other erasers and toys and that she was still very lucky. Where was that wisdom when she was howling about her scrapes?!
The drama came back one more time, during bath. She was so worried about how the water
might sting that she started crying before she even got in it. She fussed for the entire bath, until she got Little Sister started again and I sped up the scrubbing and got us all out of the bathroom in record time. This time, I decided to remind
her of some perspective. I've been reading so many blogs of parents who have lost children or who struggle to take care of seriously sick babies, and my little girl was FINE, except for a scraped knee. I scolded her, loved on her, talked to her, fussed at her, snuggled with her, and prayed for her. With new band-aids, a reminder of our bodies' amazing healing abilities during sleep, and hopefully a little perspective, she finally settled in for the night.
I hoped we had put the drama to bed as well. Not so much.
Yesterday, disappointment over not getting an extra donut caused Big Sister to throw a fit the whole way home from preschool, which culminated in a cup hitting me in the head while I was driving.
(We don't often spank, but throwing things in the car is an automatic spanking at our house. Sorry for you non-spankers, but it's just too dangerous!) She spent the rest of the evening looking at books in her room, but was truly apologetic and back to her sweet self as soon as she got there. I'm not sure if this is typical pre-school behavior. I've contemplated taking her to the doctor to check her ears again, since that was the explanation the last time she pulled a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde. Honestly, it might be nice if this madness can be fixed with an antibiotic- I might not loathe them so much after all! But if it is just the age, we'll survive. I'll just need a little extra patience
(and a lot of extra chocolate).
As for what I said about overlooking the small stuff and keeping perspective? It's not an easy thing to do. Lots of little things add up. On top of Big Sister's behavior we have a broken a/c fan, something going on with the transmission in the flaming truck, a fussy (teething?) baby, and a dog who ate 10 buffalo chicken bones whole last night (which could be cause for surgery). But, I'm thankful that I have a home, a/c or not. And I'm grateful that we have another vehicle to rely on when one is acting up. I'm blessed with two healthy, wonderful children whose biggest health concerns are teething, crawling or scraped knees. I have the resources (
although less than before she came!) to take in a stray and provide care for her. More importantly, I have been taken in much in the same way, and I am sure I try God's patience much more than silly Sophie tries mine. So, if I start to get too dramatic, can someone please be
my Cher? We all need a good "Snap out of it" every now and again.
God has promised
strength for the day,
rest for the labor,
light for the way,
grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.
~Annie Johnson Flint
