Red & Green (and a Giveaway)

Nope, this post is not about decorating for Christmas. Even though I know a few of you who have had your tree up since Halloween. I'm a purist, so we'll be waiting until after Turkey Day to start getting out our overwhelming collection of Christmas crap wonder.

I truly love Christmas, and the plethora of decorations taking up half of our attic will testify to that fact. But this year it kind of snuck up on me and I'm not ready. I'm not ready to get out the tree (okay trees) or the lights or the 7,000 miscellaneous candy platters, serving dishes, cookie plates, oven timers, toothpick holders, trivets, coffee table books, singing snowmen, floral arrangements, nativity scenes, coffee mugs, magnets, picture frames... well, you get the point. I can't even keep my house from being cluttered when I don't have all the extra stuff. And if you thought I sounded depressed a few days ago, you should see me come the first week of January. Getting all that stuff out is kind of fun. Putting it all away is not for the faint of heart.

But, like I said, this post isn't about that kind of red & green. (Okay, it was for a few paragraphs, but I promise I am getting to the point.) It's about my red face.

And no, it's not because I just wrestled both girls into the bath, pjs and bed and I am out of shape and out of breath. And it isn't because I got too much sun at an exotic locale (don't I wish?!) I'm not angry, either. My face is red because I'm a little embarrassed. Or maybe ashamed is a better word.

There are lots of things that should embarrass me on any given day. Like Big Sister exclaiming loudly in the dressing room that she loved my bra & could she please count the flowers on it? Or chasing a black bat out of heck dog in the dark and rain, all around the neighborhood, sometimes awkwardly tripping motion sensor lights. I mean, with two crazy kids and two crazy dogs, embarrassment happens.

But today I am writing embarrassed and a little ashamed because I have gotten lazy. One of the things I've tried to share on this lil' ol' blog o' mine are issues that are dear to my heart. Especially being "green" and shopping responsibly. But somewhere, gradually, things around here have changed. Actually, things haven't changed- I've "slacked off." How so? Well...

Little Sister went three weeks or more in disposable diapers because I was so behind on the laundry. And they weren't "green" 'sposeys either- just plain old huggies because I've had some kick-butt coupons for target and CVS.

I haven't made a trip to a real "green grocery store" in months, and our tightening budget has sometimes made me opt for the cheaper rather than the healthier. My girls are Kellogg's cereal addicts. Even the organic food I've been buying isn't all that great- does it really matter that I coughed up the extra buck-fifty for organic pop tarts?

I am still buying only organic, humanely-treated meat (& dairy), but we've been eating out so much that it is just piling up in the freezer and I'm pretty sure Taco Bell doesn't follow the same ethical standards.

I'm trying to shop fair trade and naturally for Christmas (or better yet, make most of my gifts) but Bath & Body Works and Yankee Candle, among other places, just seem to call out to me at this time of year. I even bought two new sweaters for myself at Old Navy during their Friends & Family sale. The other night, after I took off the one I like the very best, I looked at the tag and read "Cotton x%, Viscose x%, Rabbit Hair..."and almost cried.

Oh yeah, and when I shop, I forget my shopping bags about 40% of the time.

The critical voice in my head keeps questioning whether or not I'm a "green" person. Sometimes it even seems to question if I'm a good person!

I could go on, but I'm sure this is either 1) horrifying you or 2) boring you to tears. But, in case it makes you feel defensive, know this: these crazy standards I've set up are only for myself. I don't judge anyone else because they buy their milk at Walmart or feed their families Hamburger Helper. I just beat myself up for those things. Maybe you have your own stupidly-high expectations in some area of your life: maybe you would freak out about leaving the house without makeup or shopping at discount stores (neither of which I think twice about).

I went back and read this post about mommies living in a constant tension- what we want to be vs. what we are or what we sometimes have to be. It helped me get over it a little bit. I mean, it's not like I killed anyone, right? No, just a couple of bunnies, several thousand trees, and a few years of life of some sweatshop workers. Oh, and don't forget stuffing the landfills and tainting the water supply for your children. See how harsh that voice in my head can be?!

The bottom line is this: Being socially responsible is like anything else, including the Christian life. I can't be perfect. And I can't compare myself to other people, or even my own expectations of myself. I can compare myself to Christ, but only so I can humbly realize how much I need Him and rejoice that when God looks at me, That is what God sees. I've had lots of low points in my Spiritual journey, but wallowing there doesn't do anything for anyone. I'm using this approach with my recent "setback" in efforts to live out these other convictions, too.

I'm going to try to go from red back to green.

And to make it official, I'm going to give something away! One of you wonderful readers can win:

• One package (2-3 soaks worth) of Hot Toddy bath salts
• Cocoa-Mint Lip Balm (both from Coyote Cove, a small family business that makes all-natural products for body & home)
• A cute envirosax shopping bag to keep in your purse, glove box, etc. I got mine as a gift from The Brown Eyed Pea and don't know what I'd do without them!
• Fair trade chocolate from my favorite store, World Next Door.
  

All of these are on my gift list for friends and family this year, so I thought I'd share them with you! If you don't have a use for them, you can always use them for your holiday gift giving!

Here's how you enter: Comment below. Say anything. That will get you one entry. You can get a second entry for confessing to your own struggle with your "ungreen" side. If you sign on to follow my blog (or already follow) and comment about it, that's one more entry. You can earn another entry by posting about this contest on your own blog and linking back to mine. Make sure you comment separately to tell me about it & include your link.

AND if you were one of the kind souls who offered encouragement in the comments after this post, you get a bonus entry! Why? Because you commented for the mental health of a crazy mommy, not just some body products, candy or a shopping bag! ;)


I'll pick a winner on my anniversary, December 7th. Ready, set, go!