Help me win something (or at least humor me while I try...)

MckMama at My Charming Kids is giving away a big prize today for anyone who tries out her new gadget Mcklinky. Here's what MckMama says about it:

"It's a free list feature that allows you to do include lists of other blog links like MckMama does on Not Me! Monday. You can use MckLinky any time you want your blog readers to leave a list of links on your blog. It’s simple, reliable, free...and loads of MckFun!"

I'm trying a Mcklinky of my own. So go ahead and leave a link to your own blog right here! Let's try something new!

Song for Sunday: A tribute

On Thursday, the King of Pop passed away. I did my best to avoid the weird (and morbid) hype that surrounded his unexpected death- I didn't watch the non-stop videos on VH1 or seek out any sappy montage about his life. (Although after the first draft of this post, I looked to see if he was mentioned on the In Memoriam segement on This Week with Stephanopoulus. He wasn't. But it was solely military this time, so I'll watch this week.) I didn't mention MJ in my facebook status (although I will admit to taking a stupid facebook quiz that told me if I were a song, I'd be Black or White.) I didn't even intentionally play any of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. I hate that Heather-ish phenomenon when everyone suddenly starts caring when someone dies, and I guess I just didn't want to be a part of it.

But, I did care. Michael Jackson might have been a creepy, plastic guy right before the end, but he was my first crush. I had the buttons and the posters (the one with the yellow vest- remember?) and my cousin & I would take turns fighting over who would get to kiss the tv when we saw Billie Jean or Beat It on MTV. I remember being very concerned for the scarecrow in the scary parts of The Wiz. I appreciated Weird Al's parodies because I knew the original Michael Jackson videos like the back of my hand. Even in college, I remember driving with my roommate listening to Michael & Janet singing "Scream" or singing my only songfest solo: Thriller. (I was dressed like Elvira, and although I lost all evidence, my dear friend Abby was kind enough to share hers on facebook.)

So picking a song for Sunday was hard. Eventually, I picked a song that probably isn't everyone's favorite, although it is definitely one of my top five favorite Michael Jackson songs. I'm not going to put all of the lyrics on here, but just a few that are a little haunting when you reflect on the life of a strange, talented, tragic star.

Hold me, like the river Jordan
And I will then say to thee, "You are my friend."

Carry me, like you are my brother;
Love me like a mother.
Will you be there?

Weary- Tell me will you hold me?
When wrong, will you scold me?
When lost, will you find me?

But they told me a man should be faithful
and walk when I'm able
and fight to the end
but I'm only human.

Everyone's taking control of me
Seems that the world's got a role for me
I'm so confused will you show to me
You'll be there for me and care enough to bear me...

Pray for Pablo

It's late and I'm heading to bed. I've been trying to put together a post for Hubby's birthday (which was yesterday) but I can't work on it anymore tonight. I did want to post quickly about a blog I just learned about through the blogfrog discussion on MckMama's blog. It is the story of a little boy named Pablo who has been battling cancer. His family just had to make the heartwrenching decision to call hospice and bring him home for what precious time he has left. Please pray for Pablo and his parents and brother. Check out his blog to learn more about their story and how to help.

Happy Birthday, Honey!

I started this post on DaddyClay's birthday, but actually finished and posted it a few days later. In fact, he came home from work the day after his birthday to find the browser open and the "post-in-progress" with only the introduction and the #1. Not even the first reason! He joked about my unfinished post and then said, "at least, I hope it's unfinished!" A few of his friends gave him a hard time about me not having anything to say, but that's not true! So without further ado:


My husband turned 30 today! In honor of this wonderful man, I have compiled a list of thirty things I love about him:

1. His many funny facebook status updates.
   
2. The way he helps with the dishes and other chores that I loathe.
3. The way he sees our life together and the future- the possibilities are endless!
4. His (ridiculous) love for every DC sports team.
5. His specific fascination with the Washington Redskins. Before marrying him, I never knew you could read/talk/listen to radio shows about football year round.
   
6. How his knowledge of football has rubbed off on me- I'm a two time Fantasy Football champion you know! All I know about football (except for my sorry bengals) I learned from him.
7. How hard he works at his job- even though it can be at odd hours when no one sees it, or programming things that others think is all "fun & games."
8. His incredibly organized side of the closet (although I still can't put the laundry away according to the system).
   
9. His determination to figure out & fix things on his own (cars, a/c units, anything electronic). It usually saves us money in the end.
10. The way he drives all the way (or almost) whenever we go on long car trips.
11. His awesome insight when he teaches or preaches- depth mixed with honesty and humor.
12. The fun he has playing with our girls- tossing Big Sister in the air when she makes a goal or hits off of the tee, making Little Sis laugh adorable baby giggles, being horsey... the list goes on.
13. His passion for staying informed on political issues, even when I'm ready to plug my ears and throw in the towel.
14. Our shared excitement for traveling and experiencing new places. I wish we had time (and funds) to do it more!
15. Softball- from watching him bat or field to hearing how his pre/post game speeches went.
16. His creativity. He has great new ideas, a clever writing style, acting talent, and he can even sing the bass/baritone parts to some of the hymns at church! What a renaissance man. :)
    
17. The fact that he loves our animals- dogs and cats. Fish, maybe not so much, but still...
18. Certain predictable things that remind me of our established life together- he will always remember to get the mail (and ask me first if I did, to which the answer is almost always no) and call right after he leaves to remind me to turn off the porch light. Though sometimes I roll my eyes at things like this, they are the small everyday things that make us who we are as a couple.
19. His goofy Don King wig.
20. The fact that he has more clothes (and takes longer to get ready) than I do. (Okay, I might have more clothes overall, but not that all fit at one time.)
21. His constant struggle with the lawn. Recent battle: a lawnmower that stopped working mid-mow.
22. I can barely stand to admit it, but... the flaming truck. I both love & hate it. I am still, after eight years of driving it, mortally embarrassed to be seen behind its wheel. However, I always know it's him, and we've been a lot of places in that redneckmobile.
23. The way he appreciates (and accommodates) my abnormally great need for sleep.
24. The fact that he looks good in anything from a suit on Sunday to the cut off t-shirt he wears to cut the grass.
25. How sentimental he is (although it does make it pretty hard to get rid of anything at our house!)
26. His patience with my mothering frustrations, mood swings, and sometimes control-freakish tendencies.
27. Although it is less frequent these days due to all of the craziness of our lives, we have FUN together!
28. He lets me warm my feet on him in the winter, with only a little complaining :) Icefoot is a compliment, right honey?
29. The way he can't ever just let me come up with something to give him for his birthday/father's day/Christmas/etc. but has to start presenting me with a list of ideas nearly a month ahead of time.
30. The home, family, history & vision we have built together and the commitment we've made to continue building them.
    

I love you! Happy Birthday!

Love & War

I would be putting things mildly if I told you that we've recently been having a bit of a power struggle in our home. In fact, after a few weeks ago when the air conditioning was out and all of the windows were open upstairs, I am surprised the neighbors are even still speaking looking (we do not live on the friendliest of streets) at us.

There are several things going on in our lives that could be causing my sweet Big Sister to test her boundaries, the most obvious being my return to work part-time. There have also been several illnesses going around, and although she hasn't complained of any physical symptoms, she could be feeling under the weather. If you remember, she was acting terribly around Christmas time until I found out she had an ear infection.

Of course, there could be other reasons too. Little Sister is finally moving around and engaging with toys and all of us like the adorable toddler that she is, and this is all very new to Big Sis. She loves having someone to play with, then she hates sharing. She offers love & guidance like the protective big sister, then she knocks Little Sister down. It is all very unpredictable and a little exhausting. Especially with her new two favorite ways to drive mommy crazy act out: lying and temper tantrums.

Lying is not altogether new; it isn't unusual for a two or three-year-old to say something that is untrue simply because they believe (or want to believe) it to be true. But this new kind of lying is, well, the real deal. I'm talking sneaky, deliberate, Garden-of-Eden type of lie. But instead of a piece of fruit, it all started with a ring-pop.

One day last week, Big Sister came in from playing out on the Slip n Slide and found half of her ring-pop (leftover from a trip to the softball fields to watch Daddy play). When she asked if she could have it, she was told to wait until after lunch. I even offered to make one of my silly lunch faces (you know, mini bagels or round cracker sandwiches for eyes, a smile of grapes, etc) and she had the cute idea of making the ring-pop the nose. So I get busy spreading some cream cheese when I hear a sweet (but suspicious) voice call from the living room, "Did you hear that noise?" When I asked what kind of noise, she replied, "That crunch noise?" When I told her I had not, and asked what she thought it was, she shrugged it off and I went back to making lunch. I was not suspicious, though I should have been.

Because a few minutes later, when I asked her to bring me "the nose" she padded into the kitchen and declared that she wanted something else, like a carrot, instead of the candy nose. Immediately it made sense- the crunch, the silence in the living room while I made lunch... I asked Big Sister directly if she had eaten the ring-pop when I asked her not to do so. She insisted she had not, even adding, "It is NOT in my tummy." When I asked where it was, and if I could take a look at it, she plainly stated that she did not want to show it to me. But not because she ate it. We went around like this for a while, until I went into the living room myself, picked up the half-eaten source of all of our grief, and showed her proof. Which still did not prompt a confession, making both of us even more frustrated. The whole fiasco ended with Big Sister eating lunch alone in her room, and a temporary ban on the slip n slide. I am still contemplating the best consequences for lying, but found some great opportunities for teaching her about integrity and honesty in the aftermath.

The second big problem lately has been tantrums. Not just little throw-yourself-down-and-scream-fits, but yelling-at-and-physically-trying-to-hurt-Mommy-or-Daddy-out-of-control monster-fits. Big Sister has always been a strong willed child, and we've dealt with the occasional meltdown or thrown toy without much surprise. But these battles have been much more intense.

To be honest, I think I helped with the increase in intensity by playing along. You see, in our house, there is a rule that if you whine or cry for something, you guarantee that you will not get it. For material things, I've done a very good job standing by this rule. But for attention- well, I never thought about it on those terms before! Big Sister would scream and throw a monster fit, and I would go back and forth between trying to put her in time-out and trying to get her to regain composure. I even allowed myself to get into at least one yelling match with a three-year-old (not my finest moment).

In the midst of all of this chaos, while watching my darling girl become more and more out of control, I had to regroup. I studied child development and education, for pete's sake- I ought to be able to figure this out! So I went back over Skinner and Piaget. I read through some of my literature on Positive Discipline. I consulted numerous "credible" resources, from Dr. Greene and Dr. Sears to Dr. Phil, from Lisa Welchel to Supernanny. I also asked (read: begged) other moms for advice. But in the end, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to stop reinforcing the temper tantrums and bad behaviors. I needed to draw firm boundaries and accept NO disrespect, but I needed to deal with everything calmly and as if those terrible, red-faced, refusals to obey didn't phase me one bit. Easier said than done.

I resolved to remove Big Sister from the rest of us at the first sign of a raised voice. If time out in the step didn't stop the fit immediately, she would have to go up to her room. I also refused to argue, debate, reason, or even explain when I could see her digging in her heels to disobey. She could choose to listen, or she could choose consequences. I set up specific consequences for when she started to hit, scratch, kick, etc. I also set up a reward system for smooth, peaceful bedtimes and arrivals at school (our two most difficult times). This strict behaviorism was simply set up to deal with the behaviors (go figure) that were making it impossible to resolve conflict (or talk at all) with my child. I was also trying to discuss with her the more important, intrinsic motivators for obedience and kindness- just not in the middle of a come-apart.

It's been a long time since I was on the Psych Bowl team in college (yes, you read that correctly. It was rather fun, if you must know) so I wasn't sure how long I could expect to wait before I saw results, but I knew it would be awhile before I'd see my positive reinforcement pay off, and possibly even longer before I could experience complete extinction of these nasty little demon-fits. The battles waged on in our home, except I felt better armed, and much less exhausted. Then finally, a break through...

Two days ago, Big Sister watched a movie while I put Little Sister down for a nap and caught up on a few chores. When the movie was almost over, I asked her if she'd like to go outside. I saw that lunchtime had crept up on us, so I told her she needed to eat something quickly so we could go outside. She refused to eat, instead grumping "Outside. Now. I'm GOING outside!" rather than telling me what she might like to eat or coming to the table. I explained that she had two choices- eat quickly & go outside, or eat eventually and forget about outside. She could tell me what she chose by getting in her seat. Much drama & madness ensued, landing her a spot on the steps, at which time her yelling woke the baby. Reluctantly, I went upstairs to get Little Sis while Big Sister sat in time-out, insisting that she was going outside.

I changed Little Sis really quickly, listening to Big Sis's protests. Until it was quiet. And I was terrified. I just knew Big Sis had gone outside on her own to prove her power in this situation. (How did I know? Because that is exactly what I would have done. Did I mention that this whole thing is simply payback because I was the most stubborn child known to man?) I barely fastened Little Sis's diaper and hurried to the steps. I was just hoping she had gone on the back porch, and not out the front door. When I got to the steps and saw the bottom of them empty, my mind raced even more. I hurried downstairs and was ready to race out the back door when I saw her.

Sitting at the table.

Completely calmed down. Even smiling. And she told me she was ready for lunch.

I praised her for making the right choice (and later asked for an apology for the madness) and enjoyed the rest of a very pleasant day with my girls. Have there been fits since then? Oh yes. But this was my Gettysburg, my Saratoga, my Battle of Britain. A turning point. And hopefully, an end to the war is in sight.

...until middle school...

Who is she?

Inside my new purse, there is a tag with a name handwritten on it: Araba.

It's not a new boutique brand. It's not the name of the former owner, although those of you who know me know how I love consignment shopping. It's not even the brand- which, FYI, is Global Mamas. It's the name of the woman who made my purse. By hand. In Ghana.

Today Hubby & I rode to work together, dropping the girls at the church day care before he went to his office and I went across the street to work at camp. When lunchtime came, he wanted to go downtown to eat with a bunch of guys from his (near champion, one more game to go!) softball team. I agreed to go with him, not to tag along and eat with the boys, but to visit my favorite store: World Next Door.

I don't get to go into it very often, but I love it. I love the colors and patterns and hand crafted designs. I love the variety of household items, clothing, stationery, toys, bags, jewelry, etc. But mostly, I love the idea of purchasing fair trade items and helping people all over the world make enough money to feed their families. I love buying from a small business owned by women formerly imprisoned in the horrible underworld of sex trade, or helping a once struggling mother feed her children a steady diet of rice, plantains, and hope. I love imagining the lives, the struggles, the triumph- the stories behind the products.

I don't know who Araba is, or what her life is like. I know that she made a beautiful bag (even if my husband says it is a little hippie, even for me). I can't wait to show it off and tell people where it came from.* Naturally, I had to talk about it here first!

I also know that most women in her region make less than $2 a day. I know that most of the things we buy in our country benefit wealthy corporations and exploit those at the bottom of the production process. I know that there really is "buying power" and that even the smallest purchase on our parts can make a big difference in someone's life.

Of course, I know it is hard to put your money where your mouth (or heart, or blog) is, but I am trying. We started out with coffee- only buying Fair Trade certified, hopefully shade-grown coffee to benefit those who work to harvest it. I've already shared how I generally do not buy new clothing for my girls, in part because of the labor practices of many clothing companies. And I've known for awhile (since my last purse began unraveling) that I wanted to get one that had a story and reminded me of the big picture- afterall, I grab it and carry it with me every day. Since second-hand clothing for adults can be a little trickier, I've had a harder time with this one. But there were lots of fun clothes at the shop today. Lots. Like, if Hub's-lunch-had-been-a-little-longer-I-might-have-been-in trouble lots. So, maybe I'll take another step forward and gradually adjust my wardrobe to match my heart. Perhaps you can join me? Every little bit helps.

As a bonus, I also found two comfy bamboo t-shirts and an Under the Nile cloth diaper, all 50% off. Did I mention I LOVE this store? I did? Oh, well... I do.



*yes, I know I ended with a preposition, but it sounds so much better- or at least a little less pretentious- than "from where it came" don't you think?

splishing & a-splashing

It has been too hot here to do much outside unless it involves water....

I just realized this next one kind of looks like a CRAZY sneeze:

Yum. Grass.

Big Sister is really concentrating to pour that water, huh?
And here is one of Little Sister standing up by herself- she will take off walking soon!

Hope you're staying cool!

Happy Fathers' Day!

That's my dad holding Little Sister. He's a wonderful Papa, as the girls call him. He's a pretty terrific dad, too. A lot of my appreciation for music, my passion for justice and fairness, and, well, my stubbornness came from him. He has always expected lots from me, but he has also always given me the support and wisdom I need to succeed. I miss him today and hope he has a wonderful day! Happy Fathers Day, Dad!

Song for Sunday: Fathers & Daughters

I've pondered what song to share today. The other day, Big Sister asked me if I remembered the song about fathers & daughters. I wasn't sure what she meant until she clarified: the one you played on the way to the hospital when you were going to have me! So I almost made today's song "Daughters" by John Mayer.

I also thought about the song my hubby keeps in the car to play on daddy-daughter-dates. The one I fully anticipate hearing someday in the (distant, please) future when he dances with Big Sister at her wedding: "Cinderella" by Stephen Curtis Chapman.

Finally, I thought about the song "King of the World" by Point of Grace, which is actually the inspiration for a book called Dance Me, Daddy, which the girls will be giving their daddy today for Father's Day.

But in the end, I thought this song, which Big Sister learned at school and has been singing constantly since, fit the best:

(to the tune of "He's Got the Whole World")

"I've got the best father in the world

I've got the best father in the world
I've got the best father in the world
I'm the luckiest girl or boy"

Both Daddy & I suggested to Big Sister that she could just sing, "I'm the luckiest girl around." But she, purist that she is, insisted she had to sing it just the way she learned it.

Either way, she's right. Happy Father's Day, Honey! Our girls are the luckiest most blessed girls.

or boys.

Stellan

It has been a long day, and I haven't really processed it all enough to blog much tonight, but I wanted to ask for prayers for baby Stellan, MckMama's little miracle baby. He went back into the hospital tonight with complications from his continuing heart condition.

You can click on the "praying for Stellan" button I've added to the sidebar to go to the My Charming Kids blog and read more updates. You can also go back and read about his amazing journey so far.

Join me in praying for this cutie, okay?

Ten Random Thoughts I've Had Today:

It has been a while since I had a top ten, but I don't really have a list of things to share... except... well, you wouldn't want to hear all of the crazy things I've thought about sharing/using to update my Facebook status/yelling from my car window today, would you?

You would? (I'm just pretending I heard a response. Helps my pride- wink, wink) Here goes:

1. Man, it's a hot day to be a Mormon missionary.
2. Why do I have an outstanding balance at the pediatrician's office of $1.64? Seriously? What will that pay for there? One of those giant stickers with a picture of a Chimpanzee on it? And if they are charging for those stickers, I'd like to return a few and get my money back. Can I still bring them back if they have lost their stickiness and are covered in lint and dog hair?
3. I really wish there was a way I could find the car I cut off today- when I was hurrying to the movie theater to watch the free showing of Madagascar Return 2 Africa- so I can apologize. (I was trying to explain to Big Sister that passing the crazy day care bus was not going to make us crash into them, and in the process I spaced out and almost crashed into someone else.)
4. "I recognize that voice... who is that actor?!" (repeat about 40 times during the movie)*.
   
5. I really don't want to hand you my credit card when you just say "how are ya?" instead of my total. How do I know I'm not paying for junior bacon cheeseburgers for the whole Suburban behind me?
   
6. Why in the WORLD is it taking so long for the nurse to come in and give Little Sister her shots? It's hard enough to comfort a baby after three shots, but when she is already fussing from being cooped up in the exam room for 20 extra minutes... I hope she kicks you with those strong thunder thighs of hers... I mean, Jesus loves you.
   
7. I really need to remember to call the insurance company before the crack in my windshield gets any bigger and swallows us whole.
8. I'm not sure who the new dog is across the street, but I am glad to see another dog not listen as badly as Sophie. I hope you understand when I smile knowingly as you chase your puppy around the yard trying to catch her by the collar.
9. I wish I were in Ohio for the visitation & funeral. It was a hard decision, and I really miss being with everyone. Maybe I could just drive up this evening (another one I've repeated about 40 times today).
10. "I like to move it, move it..."

*Alec Baldwin. It was Alec Baldwin.

Confessions of a Compulsive Liar

I've recently finished the third book in the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella. While not the most profound thing I've read lately, the series is a fun read. However, after three books with basically the same plotline, I am slowly tiring of them. Each story involves the main character, Becky, getting herself into some outlandish trouble (think: I Love Lucy) and digging herself deeper & deeper into the mess. Finally, it all blows up in her face and she (supposedly) learns her lesson as things work out in the end. The problem is, the next book barely begins before the reader begins wondering if she ever really did learn that lesson.

I've actually never been a fan of I Love Lucy; It always made me too stressed out. If a show or movie uses the "Our main character is caught in a pattern of deception about who they really are, and just when it looks like it will work, the bottom falls out, the person they lied to is hurt, they learn a valuable lesson, apologize in some extravagant way, and live happily ever after" script (and let's face it, that is A LOT of movies, especially romantic comedies) it has to be really well- written and clever for me to stick with it. Even then, I tend to be unable to sit still- I can't stand the risks people take when they weave such elaborate lies! It stresses me out.

Maybe it is because on the few occasions when I have succumbed to lying or gossiping, I never got away with it. Perhaps it is because I've always been a worrier, maybe even with a bit of a guilty conscience. Maybe it's maturity or the Spirit convicting me. Or maybe it is because it is just too much work, balancing out who believes what, when just telling the truth will ensure you can easily keep your stories straight! Whatever the reason, I just don't identify with these characters. I liked reading about Becky's amassed debts (while she gave financial advice for a living) or simultaneous weddings (planned for the same day on two different continents) but I couldn't really relate.

Am I the only one? Lots of people love these books, but do they find them relatable or just outrageous and entertaining? Are they not bothered by the silly lies and seemingly all-consuming pride that keeps Becky from admitting her shortcomings to anyone including her best friend, her fiance, even (sometimes) the reader?

The bottom line is this: after three books, I don't know how the people in her life aren't staging an intervention, or turning to run in the other direction whenever they see this girl coming. I definitely can't understand why they keep believing her! I am not sure I could continue a friendship with someone who would rather lie to make themselves look infallible (even in the tiny things in life) than be open with her loved ones. I'm not saying I'm perfect when it comes to the truth or admitting my mistakes, but I'm not usually one to be afraid of being real or honest (maybe sometimes too honest- I feel a confessions of a bad mom coming on....)

I was already thinking about this when I heard the people on the radio morning show chime in on the same subject from a Biblical perspective. They talked about how Paul said that he boasted about nothing but his shortcomings, so that God could receive the glory. They discussed transparency and how, as followers of Christ, being honest about where (and how often) we fail can only draw people to our God- a God who loves us inspite of those failings and is still working in us to bring about good.

On the other hand, pride can only draw people to look at us- either in admiration for what they/we think we've accomplished, or in frustration/disgust at how fabulous we pretend to be. Either way, when you put it that way, I don't like the pride option at all. We're all susceptible to it; it's human nature. But I truly think it is the root of many sins in my own life, and probably many other lives out there. Lord, save us from ourselves! I struggle enough trying to get my head out of my own, ahem, life and keep my focus on what's important, without cozying up with a fictional series about a girl who worries so much about what others think that she can't even be honest with herself.

So that, Becky Bloomwood, is why I don't think we can be friends anymore. I need to find a new series to read- any suggestions?


*An interesting side note: when I did an image search for the book cover above, I found the photo on this blog post. I've never read this blog before, but this particular post is also about the Shopaholic series from a Christian perspective. Just in case you're interested.

Summer breeze, makes me feel fine...

Sunshine, bubbles, popsicles, porches, and my beautiful babies... what makes you feel fine?

A letter to Granny

I've had, on more occasions than I can believe, the unfortunate privilege of saying goodbye to loved ones as their time on this earth grows short. It is both painful and precious. One of the reasons the girls and I traveled to Ohio last month was the possibility that it would be the last time we would be able to visit with my Granny. Battling cancer, treatments were taking quite a toll on her and had to be stopped. Though not my grandmother by blood, she has always been "Granny" to me. Among many other wonderful memories, I'll remember her for the way she sent cards for every occasion, and I sent her a note to let her know how special that was- how special she was. This is what I wrote. It's nothing elaborate or fancy, just short & to the point (I think she would prefer it that way anyway), but I wanted to share it as a tribute to Granny, who passed away this morning.

Dear Granny,
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of and praying for you all the time. I can't imagine how hard it is to be limited in where you can go, what you can do, etc. I especially can't imagine facing all that you face right now. So instead of trying to imagine, I pray. For healing, although our God is mysterious in how He heals. Sometimes he works miracles and heals physically- and I am definitely still praying for one of those miracles. But sometimes He heals what is more important to Him- our hearts, our souls, our lives. I pray for that, for you and for those of us who love you. I pray for you to be surrounded with love and laughter and hope and peace. I pray for you to have special moments with special people. I pray you're not in too much pain. And I pray a prayer of thanksgiving for having you in my life- someone to push baby carriages & wear floppy hats, to teach me to swim, to develop a love for cinnamon toast and eggy eggy, to help me pick the perfect pumpkin, and to make me feel special with every card I received in the mail. I am also so thankful and glad that we got to visit with you a few weeks ago. I know it was probably very taxing on your body to come see us for the cookout and party, but I hope it was worth it. I know it was worth our whole long trip just to get to spend time with you! I love you.

Love,
Emily

Song for Sunday- "The prize is always worth the rocky ride"

Yesterday, DaddyClay & I went rafting with the college students from our Sunday School class. I was excited, but also a little nervous about being thrown out of the boat. Every time the guide would say, "Coming up in is a class 4 rapid we call BoneCrusher" I would think This is it... this is the one that is going to get me. But when I finally did get flung from the raft, along with four others including our guide(!) it was not nearly as bad as the anticipation. In fact, I thought it was a lot of fun! And apparently it was a pretty bad spill. So that, and other recent (more figurative) bumps & scrapes have inspired this week's song:

The Wood Song

Words and Music: Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls)

The thin horizon of a plan is almost clear
My friends and I have had a tough time
Bruising our brains hard up against change
All the old dogs and the magician
Now I see we're in the boat in two by twos
Only the heart that we have for a tool we could use
And the very close quarters are hard to get used to
Love weighs the hull down with its weight

But the wood is tired and the wood is old
And we'll make it fine if the weather holds
But if the weather holds we'll have missed the point
That's where I need to go

No way construction of this tricky plan
Was built by other than a greater hand
With a love that passes all out understanding
Watching closely over the journey
But what it takes to cross the great divide
Seems more than all the courage I can muster up inside
Although we get to have some answers when we reach the other side
The prize is always worth the rocky ride

But the wood is tired and the wood is old
And we'll make it fine if the weather holds
But if the weather holds we'll have missed the point
That's where I need to go

Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look
Skip to the final chapter of the book
And then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took
To get us where we are this far, yeah
But the question drowns in it's futility
And even I have got to laugh at me
No one gets to miss the storm of what will be
Just hold on for the ride

But the wood is tired and the wood is old
And we'll make it fine if the weather holds
But if the weather holds we'll have missed the point
That's where I need to go

*In case you were wondering, that is just some stock photo I found online. I'm not in it. It wasn't even taken in this region. And our guide didn't have those monstrous arms. But the boat & oars look the same, and we sure did get to wear those cool helmets!

And the winner is...

... chosen. If you are like Big Sister (or her father) and have zero patience for surprises, go ahead and scroll down now to find out who won. I thought I'd explain how the winner was selected. I looked at all of the comments and gave everyone numbers. For instance, since my hubby was the first one to comment, he was #1 (and not technically eligible since he lives with me, but don't tell him that). The Brown Eyed Pea was already following my blog, so when she commented she got numbers 2, 3, and 4. By the end of this process, there were 33 entries. I used random.org to pick a winner, and viola! Only, I can't do anything exactly like planned, so instead...

... I picked two!

Congratulations Ashlee & Michelle! Ashlee, send me a massage message (freudian slip, perhaps? Can those be typed? I really could use a good massage today. I'll post why soon...) on facebook with your address, and I'll send you your prize! Michelle, I will deliver yours to you when it comes in, and I promise not to rely on our husbands to hand it off!

Thanks to everyone for commenting. It was nice to round up my readers. Maybe I'll do it again in a month or two.

Giveaway reminder!

Just a reminder, I still need eight more comments to be able to give something away!

Some of you (mother) have commented on posts after the giveaway post but skipped the one that has free stuff for you! Even if you're not interested in freebies (who are you, by the way?) I am considering this a challenge just to see who has checked in on my blog this week. I know it is summer and a lot of you have VBS or are traveling, but surely I can find 20 comments, right? Right?... we'll see... Click here to comment if you haven't already.

I can't resist...

... one more post about Compassion. I know I said I'd cool it for a bit, but this is too awesome not to share! Compassion just sent out this message:

On May 20, 2009, Compassion welcomed Fellow Blewussi Kpodo in Togo as our 1 millionth sponsored child. This is the first time in Compassion's 57-year history that we are ministering to 1 million sponsored children at one time.

You are part of an amazing movement of grace and compassion! Families and communities are seeing Christ's love in action all over the world. The impact has been incredible as lives are being transformed.

Let's keep it going! We're not stopping here ... even for a moment. Let's quickly reach out to the next million children who are still in great danger, who are hurting, who are lost.

Let's do it together, as God's people, in the name of Jesus!

Amazing. Click on sweet little Fellow above, or on the widget to the right, to join this ministry. I'll try not to post about it again for a few weeks... but I'm making no promises!

Em's Cloth Diaper 101: Lesson Two

Continuing our diaper discussion. In my earlier post, I explained the different kinds of cloth diapers. If you thought there were a bunch of those, just wait until you explore the abundance of brands!

I'll be honest, there are many, many brands of cloth diapers out there that I have not tried. For some, the reason is they are more on the "boutique" end of cloth diapers- really cute patterns, embroidery, etc. but their prices are very high (this is something to be pooped in, let's remember). For others, it is because I researched them on The Diaper Pin and read too many negative reviews. There are some diapers or covers that required too much extra care for me when I was just starting out.

For instance, lots of earthy mamas out there simply rave about using Wool Soakers to cover their diapers. But wool has a care routine all its own, and I was too intimidated to try it. I have a hard enough time with laundry/clothing maintenance as it is! (Bad mom confession: the last time I took something to the dry cleaners was at least 5 years ago. And I've only turned on the iron about three times this year!) So maybe some day I'll try wool, but for right now I'll stick with my PUL covers.

The other reason I've not tried many of the diapers out there is simply this: I did lots of research, experimented, and found things I liked. So I didn't need to try anything else! I still like to check out new brands every now and then if Lyd outgrows a particular diaper, but it's too expensive to do too much trial-and-error with diapers. Even with my favorites, there are always quirks that made them imperfect, or at least only perfect for certain times (like nighttime or short trips or whatever). I'll be fully honest about that, because I want anyone who is thinking about cloth diapering to be as prepared as possible; there are enough surprises facing new mamas! So, without further ado, here are the brands of diapers I've used.

• Bumgenius- These are little more synthetic than a lot of "greener" options, but they are still much better for the earth and your little one's baby bottom than those icky disposables! I absolutely love my bumgenius 3.0 pocket diapers. They fit from the time the cord falls off until, well, you don't need them any more. I used them on Big Sister when she was just sleeping in diapers this time last year! You can stuff them as full as you want to- I put a prefold inside of them for night time and never have leak problems. I have heard people talk about having problems with the velcro wearing out on these diapers, but I've used them for a year now- mostly for night or the diaper bag- without encountering this problem. OOH! The best part? You can buy these at your local Target! I also used the BG all-in-one when Little Sis was very little. I just bought two of them for the diaper bag. They fit well but sometimes leaked. They were also, like a lot of all-in-ones, harder to get completely dry.
  
• Baby Beehinds Hemp- These are a one-size fitted diaper, meaning that they snap in all sorts of different settings to fit whatever size your baby may be at the time. These also fit tiny Little Sis and big Big Sister. They are super absorbent and were my go-to nighttime diaper until a few weeks ago. When Little Sister started pulling up & jumping up and down in her crib, the extra liner in these diapers started to give her a dreadful friction rash. Before that, though, they worked wonderfully. Without the liners, they are a fine diaper for the daytime. A word of warning: hemp is really absorbent, but it also can get stinky if you don't wash it really well. These are my most expensive diapers, but they were well worth the investment.
  
• Wickeez fitted diapers- These are the softest, squishiest diapers ever. They soak up moisture and wick it to the outside, meaning two things. 1) Your baby's bottom will stay dry (and poop probably won't stick to their little bottom, either!) and 2) You need a really good cover to hold in the moisture. These aren't great for night because they put a lot of pressure on the cover to keep wetness contained, but they are wonderful for daytime use. I only bought size 1 and it probably will fit Little Sis through most of her diaper-wearing days. They are not an all natural material, though, if that is a priority to you.
• Tender Tush Organics- My first one of these was given to me by a co-worker in Alabama. It was one of the first cloth diapers I ever tried, and I liked it enough to order five more. They are made from a very natural and thirsty organic cotton. They have a soaker flap sown into the diaper, meaning it has extra absorbancy but can dry a little easier. The only drawback to these diapers is that they are in two sizes, so I've already had to retire my infant stash because of Little Sis's chunky legs. Also, they are a bit stiff and may have contributed to that previously mentioned friction problem.
• Tiny Tush One Size Diapers- I actually found this diaper when searching for more of the previous diapers! Mine has snaps to adjust the sizes and add a soaker, but closes with velcro. I think the new ones no longer have any velcro at all, which is probably good because snaps are a lot more babyproof. This diaper does a great job at soaking up daytime wetness, but it is less bulky than most cloth diapers, especially one-size. No complaints about it, other than that it is a little more expensive than some of my other fitteds.
• Happy Heiny's Happy Hempy diaper- This is a fitted diaper that has a pocket for stuffing. It is absorbant hemp but can have a fleece liner inside for more comfort. I really liked these diapers, but they are very size specific and Little Sis outgrew them pretty quickly.
• Baby Kangas One Size Pocket diapers- I have to be honest, when I first used this diaper it was on Big Sister. It leaked every time we used it. We called it the leaky diaper and used it as a last resort. But it turns out I wasn't exactly being fair. First, I only tried it for overnight on a big toddler. And second, I don't think I was stuffing it well. Since then, I've added different stuffers (prefolds and Bumgenius microfiber inserts for night) and it has done wonderfully. I actually bought more of these for Little Sister. I like that it is a one-size diaper like my bumgenius 3.0s, but that it has a really soft inside and snaps instead of velcro. I love that my kiddo can wear it until she is potty trained.
• Indian prefolds- I like the absorbancy of these prefolds much better than the ones you can buy in stores (like gerber). They can just fold up & get tucked into a cover, or I can fasten them with a snappi. The best part is that they cost less than $3. I've even used them at night, although I usually use two and Little Sister looks like a dancer in a Sir Mix-a-lot video.

These are the diapers I recommend. I have also tried Kushies, Sweet Cheeks, Happy Heiny Pocket diapers, and Happy Endings brands. They aren't my favorites, although some CDing mommies swear by a few of them.

As for PUL covers, I recommend Bummis Super Brite (the sizes are very generous on these so Little Sister hasn't outgrown them as quickly as the others) and Thirsties. Again, this is just my preference. There are lots of cute, uber-expensive covers out there, if that's your thing. I've gotten baby poop on too many covers to get that attached to them!

All right class, that's it for today's diaper lesson. Tune in next time for a lesson in washing your diapers, followed by information on the cloth diapering accessories I can't live without!

Over it! (My mommy resignation...)

I was planning on sitting down tonight and reflecting on making time for mommying. About how, whenever I have a project idea or special activity in mind to break the monotony of staying at home day after day, something always comes up. About how I have to be better at planning ahead, or let some of those somethings pass me by, or at least let my house be a little less clean for them. Maybe I'll think more about this another day. Tonight I don't want to make any more time for mommying. Tonight I am over it.

Before you think I'm a horrible person, let me say a few things in my own defense. 1) If you really think I am awful for wanting a break from being someone's mom, you must not be someone's mom yourself. And 2) I am not saying I want to sell my children to the circus. Maybe just rent them out for a day... I'm not really over it. Tomorrow, probably even later tonight, I will be mushily infatuated with my kids again. But for tonight, I want to be irritated with my kids. And for once today, I got what I want.

Big Sister is going through something that is trying my patience. It could be because her sister is now mobile and able to steal both her toys & her attention. It could be because I am trying to work a bit outside of the home, although she is not going to preschool anymore than she used to. The only bit of our schedule that has changed is an hour or two on Monday mornings and John doing dinner & bath on Thursday nights while I attend a planning meeting. But you would think that I have returned to the workforce full time and left my kid to be raised by wolves. She is clingy, and crabby, and needy, and disobedient, and hateful. But only sometimes. Other times she is wonderful and sweet and helpful... I know that is probably God's way of reminding me not to give up, but the inconsistency is what is making me want to submit my mommy resignation.

For instance, today started out wonderfully. Big Sister cooperated frighteningly well, so that we made it to the free family movie at the Rave with time to spare. She followed every direction, stayed close by, barely talked during the movie (which is more than can be said for pretty much all the rest of the theater) and helped me pick up trash and pack up to leave. I rarely do things in public with my two children (after the Barnes & Noble storytime when my, ahem, angel hit someone else... 's mom.) But this was awesome. Until about halfway home, when she started screaming & crying because I told her she wouldn't be able to watch Big Comfy Couch before naptime today. For heaven's sake, we had just sat still for two hours watching a movie! And, I hate to break it to her, but that goofy show has been cancelled on our PBS affiliate. Obviously, the programming people at the station do not have a daughter like mine. She spent lunch time and naptime alone trying to calm down and return to civilization.

After the drama subsided, we had a pleasant afternoon. We played Go Fish while Little Sister napped, and no fits were thrown when I won a round. But since she never really napped, I had a few things to work on while she was awake. She asked me when I was going to be finished the entire time. The notion of playing by herself is ridiculous to her lately. So I tried to find ways to participate in her imaginary scenarios and still fold laundry, make snacks, wash dishes, etc. The evening was exhausting, but uneventful.

Until bedtime, when all heck broke loose. She pretty much started throwing a fit before we got to the stairs, and continued throwing fits until just a few minutes ago (when I set a timer and threatened her with just about everything in my arsenal if she didn't stop screaming by the time it went off). The hard part for me is that a lot of the acting out is because she wants me. She wants more attention from me; she wants me to have to come back into the room; she wants me to lay down & rub her back; she wants me to stay in her room... you get the picture.

So here's the conundrum: I don't want to withhold myself from her as punishment, but I also don't want to reinforce her bad behaviors by giving her what she wants... giving her me. I feel like no matter what I do, I'll crack open a Developmental Psych textbook in twenty years and find my warped parenting as a case study in how to screw up your kid. And I'm only halfway joking. As a psychologically minded person, I obsess over what message my parenting choices are conveying to my child. I beat myself up all the time- somedays I feel like the mean parent who disciplines too much, other days I feel like a slacker who lets her kid wear pjs all day and serves ice cream for dinner and can't remember when the last time the older one had a bath.

I think that is what makes me want to quit most of all. It isn't putting up with someone's tantrums- I'd still have to deal with that if I went back to work, and I'd have to be a lot nicer to other people's kids. I'm joking- mostly! Instead, it is the responsibility for choosing the best way to react to said tantrums, and the tremendous frustration that comes with such responsibility. I think being a mom is probably about as stressful as being the president. You know how they talk about the red button? And how in a split second the president has to make a decision that will alter the course of countless lives? Well, moms have to make split-second, in-the-heat-of-the-(CRAZY)-moment decisions all the time. Is this behavior okay? If not, do I remember telling them it isn't? If they knew that and still did it, what is the consequence going to be? And my personal favorite: Crap. That didn't work and now they are just more out of control. What now? And all the while, we're thinking about how whatever we do will impact the mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and whatever-else-al health of our children and anyone they come in contact with later in life.

So there you have it. That's why I'm over it. I'm not mean. I'm not impatient. (oh wait, yes I am. That's just not the reason I want a day off). I just want someone else to make these hard decisions for me while I sip some lemonade and finish the Shopaholic series. Any takers? My children are angels, after all...

Big-Sisterisms

Big Sister has always had the most amazing vocabulary. She loves to learn new words, and I've never shied away from using big words with her. If she's unsure what it means, she will ask. It is amazing to me how quickly she tries to incorporate the new words she learns into her daily conversation. Most of the time, she remembers them well, and uses them correctly. Other times, well, just keep reading...

When Little Sister tried to grab Big Sister's cup during a snacktime together on the couch, Big Sister suggested to me that I get Little Sister her own cup. I showed her that I had, in fact, brought Little Sis a cup too, but that she was not interested in her own. Big Sister must have suspected the cup's content to be the problem. "Maybe you should get her some of that for-mee-lo." Trust me, Big Sister, even formula formeelo wouldn't keep her from wanting your cup.

Later on, Big Sis again decided that she needed a snack. Actually, to be totally honest, she decided that she wanted candy. But she knew what the answer would be if she simply asked for candy, especially since I'm pretty sure that she has blood sugar issues. (She can turn into Little Miss Crazy Pants if she gets hungry, or if she has sugar on an empty stomach and doesn't have some protein or complex carbs with it- something about the sweets causing a spike in her blood sugar and then causing it to fall too quickly, I think.) Instead, she came into the kitchen where I was wiping down the counter and asked, "Can I have a protein and then some candy?!"

It was right before dinner, so I told her to wait, that I was getting ready to make her a grilled cheese. She thought for a second, and then asked me "Well, can I have some candy afterturd?" Bahahahah!

Song for Sunday- inspiration from high school days

This song was one of my favorites a long time ago. I'm not sure what made me think of it this week, but I hope I can teach my girls to embrace life & all the risks that come with it. Honestly, I hope I can remember that myself! If you don't remember the touching video, check it out below- if you can get past Garth's crazy eyes.

Standing Outside the Fire
by Garth Brooks

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire

We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

Dancing Queen

Big Sister had a dance recital tonight. I know, I know. She's three. You're wondering if I am one of those moms that you see on Toddlers &Tiaras. (What's that? You've never seen it? Am I the only one willing to admit that I am sickeningly intrigued by the trashy train-wreckiness of it all?) Well, I am not one of those moms. At least, I don't think I am. I mean, I wasn't. Until I caught myself spritzing a stray hair with hairspray and applying the teensiest bit of eye shadow on my daughter, in the parking lot of Bi-Lo no less.


Hubby had run in to get some flowers to give our little ballerina after the performance, and I was making sure she was all set to run in and join the other girls. Since we'd never done this before, I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't want to put a bunch of junk on my three-year-old, but I also didn't want my kid to be the one whose mother didn't fix her up properly. When we got there, some of the little girls were wearing eyeliner and had elaborate prom night hairdos! Big Sister didn't even really have enough hair for a ballerina bun! (I somehow made the tiniest little knot in the back of her hair and pleaded with her not to touch it. She was pretty good about it, actually.)


I should mention that Big Sister's "dance class" is actually just a special part of her time at preschool, where the dance teacher pulls them out for an hour or so to once a week. (No crazy afterschool schedules for our kids just yet, thank you!) When we first signed up, Big Sister was having a hard time at school because she was one of the older kids in her class. So, 1) she was still adjusting to being a big sister and now had what she thought of as "babies" in class with her and 2) she was getting bored with letters & counting and needed a new challenge. Combine that with the fact that the dance teacher offered us a discount because I help out with the curriculum at school, and I was soon ordering tap shoes on ebay. I wasn't sure how much she would like it, or how well she would do, but it turned out to be something she really enjoys.



She did pretty well, considering she is probably the only still-three-year-old in the bunch. She did fall down on the slick stage during her ballet number, but she landed on her bottom (so that's why they wear tutus!) and got right back up to dance. That was probably our proudest moment of the night! There were a few times she was behind on her dance moves (as were most of the kids at any given time) but watching her form, I think it was because she was really trying to nail the positions. I know it is a little blurry because I wasn't allowed to use my flash, but check out her form:

Also, she is a bit of a drama queen... watching her I wondered if sometimes she was just imagining herself alone on stage, dancing in the spotlight, and keeping up with the others be darned! Need proof? Just look at the poses she struck when I gave her the bouquet of flowers!


I simply could not get the silly girl to look up & smile. She had to pose. Like a diva. Also, whenever anyone said the obligatory "You did a great job" as they passed us on the way out, she would reply, "I know!" We had to have a little talk about accepting compliments graciously. She really was quite adorable to watch, though. I realize I am a bit biased, but see for yourself:



After such an eventful evening, she was exhausted. We took our little dancer out to eat (Red Robin) and brought her home to bed. I told her several times how proud I was of her because of who she is, not just how she did. I hope, after all of the spray-on hair glitter (not my idea) and lip gloss are washed away, and the tights and tutu are packed up (or added to the dress up trunk) that she will remember that most of all.

My first giveaway!

*Updated- I realized that a few of the "regular" readers are out of town this weekend, so I'm going to extend the contest until next Saturday. That should give us plenty of time! ALSO, if you don't have kids/don't have a need for the hand sanitizer, I will let you pick out another item from the Coyote Cove site... Zac & Callen, they do have doggie shampoo!



This is my 111th post! (I kind of missed the 100th one a few posts ago, so this one will have to suffice in the significance department.) I've really come to look forward to sharing some of the wonderful madness that is our lives with you all. Over the past few weeks, I've been hearing from people I never knew read my blog. While it is encouraging to know that something I've written resonates with people, it is a little strange not to even know you're reading! I've only got seven followers listed, but I know there are more of you out there. And yes, relatives count!

So, I'm issuing a challenge. And a reward. I want anyone who reads my blog to comment on this post. Even if you just say, "I read it." I am going to have a drawing for everyone who comments before Monday next Saturday night. If you sign on as a follower, I'll enter you a second time. If you already are a follower (you lucky seven) and you comment, I'll enter you three times.


What are we winning, you ask? One of my new favorite things:


A little while ago, my friend Hope picked up some of this Coyote Pups Naturally Clean hand cleaner from their booth at the local market. I love it. It is like hand sanitizer without the chemicals, alcohol burn, or stink (although Hope says it smells like a hippie. It does smell like lavender and other essential oils, but I guess I rather enjoy smelling like a flower child! ) Here is how it is described on their website: For toddlers, children, and adults, this is an alcohol-free waterless hand cleaner. Aloe gel base with witch hazel and naturally antiseptic, anti-bacterial, and anti-viral essential oils.

It comes in a cute little 2 oz. spray bottle to fit in your purse, diaper bag, or the console of your car. There is also a pump option, but I haven't tried that yet. I know it isn't a giant prize, but it is my very first one. I've got to set the bar a little low to begin, right?

There is one more thing... I need to have at least 20 comments for the drawing to happen. So... ready, set, post!

Em's Cloth Diaper 101- Lesson One

A few people have asked me about cloth diapering lately. Either they are wondering if it is really "greener" (it is) or cheaper (it is), or they are curious about all of the choices out there. I wish when Big Sister was born that I had someone to tell me how easy it is. She was still sleeping in diapers when I was pregnant with Little Sister, so I was able to order and try out a few of the one-size diapers on a toddler and now an infant as well. Little Sister is 1 year old and we've used cloth for most of that time. (We used disposable when she was teeny tiny and I was recovering from the c-section, and recently when she developed a friction-type rash from her obsession with bouncing up & down in the crib combined with some rough hemp inserts- I put CDing on pause to let some medicine clear up the scary bruises). Normally, unless I've just fallen really behind on laundry, cloth is all we use.

As for the first question about "why cloth?" I can't provide any better answer than several other people already have. Here are some links I like to reference:

• Smile Mommy (a diaper service in Nashville)
• Buzzee Bee Diapers (another service, but this is a link to their blog)
• A Calculator found at Diaper Pin, to tell you how much you can save

If you decide to go with cloth, the next question becomes what diapers to use. There are certainly an abundance of different types and brands. I've got some favorites, which of course I'll share, but the Diaper Pin link above is a great place to read reviews. I've only ever found one specific brand of diaper not reviewed at the Pin.

First, the different types. Here are the basics:

1. Prefolds are the old square cloth diapers my mom used on me. They are often called Diaper Service Quality (DSQ) because most services still use prefolds. They can be made of different material, but are most commonly bleached or unbleached cotton. The advantage of prefolds? They are very inexpensive and easy to wash. You can add extra layers to add absorbancy. The disadvantages? They are a bit more complicated, although today you can use a Snappi instead of pins, and one prefold alone isn't the most absorbant option. Prefold diapers need a diaper cover.
   
2. Fitted diapers are diapers that are fitted (Ahoy maties! It's me, Captain Obvious!) They most often fasten with aplix (generic word for Velcro) or snaps. The advantage is that they are easier than prefolds and often more absorbant on their own, but the disadvantage is the higher cost. Some fitted diapers will only fit a baby for a small amount of time, and others are meant to be adjustable so that they can grow with your baby. (There are some diapers, meant to fit from newborn to toddler, often called One-Size. If they still need a cover, I still consider them to fall in the category of fitted diapers.) Fitted diapers need a separate diaper cover most of the time, although there are exceptions.
3. Pocket Diapers are diapers that have room for inserts to be stuffed inside of them to vary the absorbancy. Because they have an outer layer of PUL, Fleece, or another moisture catching material, pocket diapers do not need a separate cover. The advantages are the ability to vary the absorbancy quite easily, as well as the ability to "unstuff" the diaper to make washing & drying easier. Obviously, having the diaper & cover already assembled makes using these dipes easier, too. These are the kind of diapers I use for my diaper bag. The disadvantage is the price, and (in my humble opinion) the fact that not using a separate cover makes it impossible to wipe & reuse the covers in between washing your dipes. (My husband says this doesn't make sense, so I'll try to clarify. If you use a separate cover, you can wipe it out, let it dry, and reuse it after the next change. With the pocket dipes, the cover is the diaper, so you just have to chuck it in the pail after it is wet or dirty. For one thing, this makes more laundry. For another, I personally like to wash my PUL as little as possible because I want it to hold up. Make more sense, dear?) Just to add a little more confusion, there are some adjustable or even "one-size" pocket diapers, but there are also plenty of brands that make S,M,L sizes of pockets.
   
4. All-in-One diapers are so named because there is no assembly required. You don't need to stuff or add a cover. They work just like a disposable, minus the whole throw-in-the-landfill-when-you're-done component. Obviously, these are the easiest to use. I bought a few of these for the diaper bag when we first sprung CDing on the nursery workers at church. They can also be the most expensive, and I find them a bit of a pain to dry. Most all-in-ones are size specific, meaning your baby will outgrow them a few times over the span of CDing.
   

There are some diapers that are hybrids between these four types, but this is the best way I know to explain/organize the options. In our house, we have used a mixture of all four types. I tend to save the All-in-Ones for diaper bag use (and short trips). The pockets used to be reserved as well, but now I like to stuff them (sometimes with a prefold for super absorbancy) and use them at night. I really like fitted dipes for daily use, because they wash easily and because I can rotate and reuse two or three covers in a given day. I also use prefolds- either just folding them and sticking them in the cover or fastening with a snappi. I seldom have problems with leaks, but I don't leave them on really long. I also have a few really cool pre-fitted diapers, which means a pre-fold that has been trimmed to fit. It is not as bulky as other fitted dipes, but I can get it on wiggly Little Sister easier than a prefold. For those of you who sew, here is a step-by-step guide for making these type of diapers.

That's all I have time to type right now, but I'll post again about my favorite brands of each of these kinds of diapers. If you just can't wait to learn more, check out The Pin for an overwhelming amount of information! And if you just can't wait to buy diapers, here are my top three sites:

• Baby Hope's Cloth Diapers- absolutely my favorite!!!
• Cotton Babies
• Baby Cotton Bottoms

Again, you can read reviews of retailers on The Pin as well. Happy researching!