Monday, February 1, 2010

Loving your neighbor, helping Haiti, and feeding strays

Earlier this week, I stumbled across an article about ESPN blogger and ex-NBA player Paul Shirley who wrote a rather insensitive post that included a letter to Haiti from "The rest of the world." He said he had not, nor planned to, give anything to the relief effort basically because the responsibility to rebuild (and for the island being poorly built in the first place) lies with the victims. He admitted this would be a controversial idea, because most people were giving to the relief efforts "unconditionally." He also used an analogy about being a caveman who built his house too close to the river. Here's what he said:

Imagining what would happen next is easier than imagining me carrying a caveman’s club. If I were lucky enough to survive the roaring waters that took my hut, my tribesmen would say, “Building next to the river was pretty dumb, wasn’t it?.” Or, if I weren’t so lucky, they’d say, “At least we don’t have to worry about that moron anymore.”

He admits that we're supposed to be more civilized than cavemen, but still questions those who "chose" to live in the conditions of pre-earthquake Haiti, especially if they return to living in them now, in post-earthhquake Haiti. Yeah. Because that's a choice everyone deliberately makes.

Towards the end of his post, he responds to the well-publicized quote by a Haitian mother of two who said she didn't know who was responsible to help, but that it was direly needed. He writes:

I don’t know whose responsibility it is, either. What I do know is that it is not the
responsibility of the outside world to provide help. It’s nice if we do, but it is not a requirement, especially when people choose to influence their own existences negatively...


Then today I am flipping through Hubby's Time Magazine and find a quote from South Carolina's Lt. Governor (and gubernatorial candidate) Andre Bauer. Speaking of welfare and other social programs he said,

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed."


As a person who vowed a long time ago to take care of stray children and animals, I didn't even know how to respond to this at first. I went to Bauer's website, read his statement of "regret, " and pondered some more. One article I read especially struck a nerve with its next-to-last sentence:
That message "has been a staple" of social conservatives and evangelicals who believe personal responsibility is a key both to salvation and success...

Wait, what?!? Maybe this is where I stray off course from many evangelicals, but I always thought salvation had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING I could do. I know I am personally responsible for accepting the grace offered to me through Jesus Christ. But anything else- well, apart from Him, I can do NOTHING.

That's my problem with these two timely statements. I don't really care if they are politically incorrect (though Shirley asking the Haitians to "maybe use a condom once in a while" is about as insensitive as can be). And I don't really care about the personal opinions of two men I have never met. But if they are speaking for, in one case, "the rest of the world" and especially in another, for evangelical Christians, I object.

If someone chooses not to help someone else because they are a fiscal conservative, because that's how they roll politically, so be it. But to seriously justify not helping someone as "voting your values" or taking the evangelical Christian platform, something has to be a little off. I'm getting tired of the same people who push to have evolution taken out of schools making political and even personal statements of near social darwinism- survival of the fittest. It seems silly to me to believe that God created everyone in His image and then believe that some people just go further, and therefore are worth more. That some of them are just "morons" who built their shacks too close to a river (or on a fault line) and deserve whatever they get. (By the way, we don't have the time or the space to even begin dissecting how those who make up the majority of Haitians came to be on the island, but their ancestors didn't land there on a pleasure cruise).

Sometimes the best life lessons are results of our choices. I get that. I studied & implemented logical consequences as an educator. I understand the value in learning from our mistakes. But I also (or at least I'm trying to) understand grace. Which flies in the face of all logic. Which turns consequences into opportunities for sacrifice and love.

There is a difference between letting a person see something as a mistake- helping another human being to learn from and try not to repeat the consequences- and leaving someone to die in them. Fortunately for us, Christ chose not to do the latter. Unfortunately for us, many believers are bearing more of a resemblance to the "unmerciful servant" than we are to Christ.

I think it is time to realize that in some sense we are all strays. We all have made mistakes that should cost us our lives. None of us started off any better than the others when it comes to living God's way. None of us deserves any more than the next guy. None of us can do anything to earn favor with God. God loves us unconditionally (there's that word again, Mr. Shirley). It is grace and love and mercy and compassion that save us- not our "personal responsibility."

People looking at tragedies like the earthquake in Haiti like to say, "There but for the grace of God, go I."And for good reason. We know, deep down, that we don't deserve our good fortune. Anything I have or do or survive is soley a gift of God's grace- one that I don't quite understand and just humbly and gratefully accept.

I don't deserve to be sitting here, typing on my computer in my heated home, listening to my healthy children sleep upstairs, while not far from here mothers wait to see if the bodies of their children will ever be separated from the giant pile of rubble that used to be a house. Sure, I went to college. I studied. I have a part time job outside of the home and a husband who works hard. But at the end of the day, what plays the biggest role in separating me from her is something I had no control over: where, and to whom, I was born.

Sure, there are amazing stories of people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, overcoming their situations and becoming "something". I love those kinds of stories. But it's important to keep a few things in mind when we hear them. For one, to God, they already were "something"- just because He loved & made them.

For another, in order to make "something" of yourself, you have to believe it is possible. I have a very intelligent friend, and a very intelligent and successful relative, who are both fiscal conservatives. Both have great stories. My friend often says he believes you can do anything in America with just a library card. But I would argue that you also need someone to take you to the library- at least at first. As a teacher I saw first hand kids who had very little promise of a healthy or successful future- not simply because they were poor or couldn't read well, but because no one was in their life telling them that they were valuable. That they could succeed. As their teacher, I tried, but the pressures of testing and the limited time available for me to tutor individually left me sometimes more of a discourager as I handed them D's & F's and sent home papers that would return, again & again, without the signature of even one person who would be responsible for them.

Oh yeah, one more thing... It's pretty hard to pick yourself up by your bootstraps if hunger has zapped you of the physical strength to even lift up your head. Sound like I'm exaggerating? I wish I were. About 25,000 people die every day from hunger related causes. 16,000 of them are children. Pretty hard to blame them for bringing it on themselves.

See, you know what happens if you don't feed strays? Either they move on and find food and shelter somewhere else, or they die. They die. And basically, what I'm understanding is that, to many, even some Christians, that is ok. Well, it's not ok in God's eyes. If he cares about each sparrow that falls, I'm pretty sure the catastrophic death of hundreds of thousands- and even the slow starvation of one- of His children is not ok. I'd go so far as to say that standing by and doing nothing would be a sin.

And this whole idea that strays "breed"? Sure, if you just toss a little food out on the porch, you might get a few more visitors the next day. Of course, if you do what we did with our dog Sophie, if you take that stray and make her a member of your family, you change her whole life. Isn't that the job of the church? Only, our talk of "personal responsibility" and "prosperity gospel" is turning many away as sharply as kicking a cat. They set out to find someone else simply to feed them. And to the chagrin of many of my more conservative brothers & sisters, that someone else is often the government.

Do I think people take advantage of the generosity of others? Of course. Do I worry that some of the current social programs in our country encourage people to stay where they are and feed off of the system? At times. There are people in my life today that I have seen taking advantage of their family, friends and church while they continue to make selfish financial decisions. It troubles me. I understand the importance of being responsible for yourself and your family.

But more than that I feel a genuine responsibility for myself & all believers to step up and love our neighbors. To do what Jesus talks about in the parable of the sheep & the goats. To clothe the naked. To feed the hungry. To welcome them in to God's family and show them, not how to "be something," but that they already are something.

And then, as brothers & sisters in Christ, we can encourage and even rebuke each other with regards to responsibility and wise choices and taking care of ourselves (and that should be happening with those previously mentioned people I know).

And we can encourage each other in our responsibility to serve and care for all of God's children.

Which is what I am hoping I have done with this long, soapbox-post.


Sunday, January 31, 2010

Series of events...

I'm storing these away for my return to the classroom.
Story sequencing is a big deal in first grade!

1.
The sled didn't really work after the first day, but we made due.



2.

After repeatedly falling down and getting stuck like Randy in A Christmas Story,
Little Sister spent most of her snow-time asking to "holdjyou."

But she never wanted to go in, and if you ask if she had fun in the snow,
she'll say "Yep."



3.


Song for Sunday: like a winter snow...

This is a song from Chris Tomlin's Christmas CD, about the quiet & humble birth of Christ. I think it can really be about anytime God reaches out to us with a Still, Small Voice. I know I've seen God in the winter snow this weekend...

Winter Snow
by Audrey Assad

Could’ve come like a mighty storm
With all the strength of a hurricane
You could’ve come like a forrest fire
With the power of heaven in your flame

But you came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below

Could’ve swept in like a tidal wave
Or an ocean to ravish our hearts
You could have come through like a roaring flood
To wipe away the things we’ve scarred

But you came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below

No, your voice wasn’t in a bush burning
No, your voice wasn’t in a rushing wind
It was still, it was small, it was hidden

But you came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below






Saturday, January 30, 2010

Enjoying the snow

Yesterday:


And Today:



We're keeping our fingers crossed for some more play-in-the-snow-time tomorrow too! They've already canceled church services because it's pretty certain the parking lot will be a sheet of ice, so as long as the snow holds up and our coats and gloves dry, we'll be heading back out!

Carpe Nivis. Seize the snow!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Aaaah...




... a real snow!

More pictures to come. We're too busy playing in it!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My husband is NOT Edward Cullen

If you've paid attention to pop culture in the last few years at all, you should have at least heard of Edward and his family of vampires from the Twilight Saga.

I actually googled "Edward Cullen" a while back, when I added the Pieces of Flair app on Facebook and wondered why every third button had to do with this Edward guy. Many of them said something like, "Edward Cullen is my boyfriend."

Internet search completed, I saw he was from Twilight. At first I thought, that teenage vampire fiction junk. Then, fast forward a year or two and many of my mommy friends have read the books. And, well, are mildly obsessed. So, I decided googling was not enough. I had to read and find out what the hype was all about.

The hype is that Edward Cullen is perfect. The stories are decently written, and there are twists and turns and even a love triangle. But the thing that sells the books- that makes everyone fall in love with Twilight- is that everyone falls in love with Edward.

I wish I could say I was immune, but I read the entire series in 10 days and then went back and started again. When I filled Hubby in about the premise, he was both confused, "So the werewolves and the vampires are enemies? And you're reading this because?" and concerned.

But, as perfect as Edward is, I was not one of those Twi-hard wives who compared her hubby to Edward. You know, because he is fiction.

But this morning, laying wide awake at 4:25 AM, I started to think... and compare... and wish...

Not for Hubby to have Edward's pale & perfect body- I find my husband perfectly attractive just the way he is. (Although, I think he might opt for Cullen's never messed up, perfectly toussled hair.)

And not for him to have the super-strength of the vampires Meyer created in her books, although it would make me worry a lot less about the sounds in our house at night.

I didn't wish for my husband to be able to hear thoughts, although it would prevent a lot of fights, I'm sure. (Of course, it might start a lot of new ones, too!)

Obviously, I did not wish for my husband to have the unique diet of the Cullen family, or to be frozen at 30 for the rest of time. I do believe he will live forever, but in a totally different way.

So why, this morning, did I begin to compare my wonderful husband to a fictional creature and object of many women's desire?

Simple.

As I listened to my husband thump out of bed, tiredly get dressed and ready to go to the hospital with other ministers before someone's very early admission for surgery, I held my breath and hoped he did not wake the girls.

I heard him step on noisy, squeaky step number one. And then number two. And a moment later, I heard a ginormous crash. Followed by some muttering, some (sort of) quieter moving around, and finally the loud opening & closing of the front door. I also heard a few sighs coming from the opposite direction- the baby monitor on our bookshelf.

And in that weird inbetween state, as I tried to fall back asleep but also soaked in every sound, I thought of one thing.

Edward could move extremely quickly and silently.




I love you honey! :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Little Sister Speaks (more)

Little Sister is going to be 20-months-old this week.

I absolutely adore this age. She is silly and determined and incredibly smart (admittedly, I'm a little biased). But she really is learning and growing and changing quickly.

Just a few weeks ago, I would be in the kitchen or at the computer while she played and snacked, and suddenly I'd see her standing in the kitchen, cup in hand, half-bellowing, half-growling "MORE." Sometimes she might have her snack cup as well, and I'd have to try to figure out what MORE she wanted. (In fact, a few months ago, I realized that I was asking, "More what?" a little too often when one day she turned around in her high chair, held up her empty cup and said, "more what.")

Not any more. On Sunday, the child walked up to me, handed me her snack bowl and said, "Mom, I wanmorraisins." One reminder and she followed it with a cute "pweese."

Okay, darling child, you can definitely have more raisins. And pretty much anything else you want.

Not only is she great at making sure she has what she needs, but she also tries to take very good care of her Big Sis. One day at lunch, I offered Little Sister some crackers to go with her yogurt. She took a few and told me "thank you" and then she said, "[BigSis], youwanapieceacracker?"

She does this all the time. Just tonight, when she had a cookie, she made sure Big Sister had the opportunity to have one as well. So sweet.

And do you know what else is sweet? Hearing a precious child say thank you when all you did was tuck her in with her favorite blankets.

Or hearing her start to sing, as she looks at the bookshelf, "Jeee-sus wuv me." I asked her if she wanted to read her Bible and she continued, "Forda Bible tell me so." I wish I had it recorded, I would listen to that sweet little song over & over.

Those are my favorite things that Little Sis says. But what is her favorite thing to say? "Wook, Mom!" She shows me (or whoever is nearby) every single line or swirl that she adds to a paper. Or anything she finds interesting on television. Or anything she does differently with her toys. Or... anything, really.

Often, if I comment, she will repeat my compliments "I wike-it!" or "Neat!" Apparently, Daddy also says "awesome" because last night I noticed it was added to her repertoire.

It is bittersweet, really, to think about all of these cute little phrases and personality quirks. Because I know they will change and go, just as quickly as they came. There will be more precious moments, just like the ones with Big Sister now.

But this is SUCH an adorable age!