Thursday, June 11, 2009

Em's Cloth Diaper 101: Lesson Two

Continuing our diaper discussion. In my earlier post, I explained the different kinds of cloth diapers. If you thought there were a bunch of those, just wait until you explore the abundance of brands!

I'll be honest, there are many, many brands of cloth diapers out there that I have not tried. For some, the reason is they are more on the "boutique" end of cloth diapers- really cute patterns, embroidery, etc. but their prices are very high (this is something to be pooped in, let's remember). For others, it is because I researched them on The Diaper Pin and read too many negative reviews. There are some diapers or covers that required too much extra care for me when I was just starting out.

For instance, lots of earthy mamas out there simply rave about using Wool Soakers to cover their diapers. But wool has a care routine all its own, and I was too intimidated to try it. I have a hard enough time with laundry/clothing maintenance as it is! (Bad mom confession: the last time I took something to the dry cleaners was at least 5 years ago. And I've only turned on the iron about three times this year!) So maybe some day I'll try wool, but for right now I'll stick with my PUL covers.

The other reason I've not tried many of the diapers out there is simply this: I did lots of research, experimented, and found things I liked. So I didn't need to try anything else! I still like to check out new brands every now and then if Lyd outgrows a particular diaper, but it's too expensive to do too much trial-and-error with diapers. Even with my favorites, there are always quirks that made them imperfect, or at least only perfect for certain times (like nighttime or short trips or whatever). I'll be fully honest about that, because I want anyone who is thinking about cloth diapering to be as prepared as possible; there are enough surprises facing new mamas! So, without further ado, here are the brands of diapers I've used.

  • Bumgenius- These are little more synthetic than a lot of "greener" options, but they are still much better for the earth and your little one's baby bottom than those icky disposables! I absolutely love my bumgenius 3.0 pocket diapers. They fit from the time the cord falls off until, well, you don't need them any more. I used them on Big Sister when she was just sleeping in diapers this time last year! You can stuff them as full as you want to- I put a prefold inside of them for night time and never have leak problems. I have heard people talk about having problems with the velcro wearing out on these diapers, but I've used them for a year now- mostly for night or the diaper bag- without encountering this problem. OOH! The best part? You can buy these at your local Target! I also used the BG all-in-one when Little Sis was very little. I just bought two of them for the diaper bag. They fit well but sometimes leaked. They were also, like a lot of all-in-ones, harder to get completely dry.
  • Baby Beehinds Hemp- These are a one-size fitted diaper, meaning that they snap in all sorts of different settings to fit whatever size your baby may be at the time. These also fit tiny Little Sis and big Big Sister. They are super absorbent and were my go-to nighttime diaper until a few weeks ago. When Little Sister started pulling up & jumping up and down in her crib, the extra liner in these diapers started to give her a dreadful friction rash. Before that, though, they worked wonderfully. Without the liners, they are a fine diaper for the daytime. A word of warning: hemp is really absorbent, but it also can get stinky if you don't wash it really well. These are my most expensive diapers, but they were well worth the investment.
  • Wickeez fitted diapers- These are the softest, squishiest diapers ever. They soak up moisture and wick it to the outside, meaning two things. 1) Your baby's bottom will stay dry (and poop probably won't stick to their little bottom, either!) and 2) You need a really good cover to hold in the moisture. These aren't great for night because they put a lot of pressure on the cover to keep wetness contained, but they are wonderful for daytime use. I only bought size 1 and it probably will fit Little Sis through most of her diaper-wearing days. They are not an all natural material, though, if that is a priority to you.
  • Tender Tush Organics- My first one of these was given to me by a co-worker in Alabama. It was one of the first cloth diapers I ever tried, and I liked it enough to order five more. They are made from a very natural and thirsty organic cotton. They have a soaker flap sown into the diaper, meaning it has extra absorbancy but can dry a little easier. The only drawback to these diapers is that they are in two sizes, so I've already had to retire my infant stash because of Little Sis's chunky legs. Also, they are a bit stiff and may have contributed to that previously mentioned friction problem.
  • Tiny Tush One Size Diapers- I actually found this diaper when searching for more of the previous diapers! Mine has snaps to adjust the sizes and add a soaker, but closes with velcro. I think the new ones no longer have any velcro at all, which is probably good because snaps are a lot more babyproof. This diaper does a great job at soaking up daytime wetness, but it is less bulky than most cloth diapers, especially one-size. No complaints about it, other than that it is a little more expensive than some of my other fitteds.
  • Happy Heiny's Happy Hempy diaper- This is a fitted diaper that has a pocket for stuffing. It is absorbant hemp but can have a fleece liner inside for more comfort. I really liked these diapers, but they are very size specific and Little Sis outgrew them pretty quickly.
  • Baby Kangas One Size Pocket diapers- I have to be honest, when I first used this diaper it was on Big Sister. It leaked every time we used it. We called it the leaky diaper and used it as a last resort. But it turns out I wasn't exactly being fair. First, I only tried it for overnight on a big toddler. And second, I don't think I was stuffing it well. Since then, I've added different stuffers (prefolds and Bumgenius microfiber inserts for night) and it has done wonderfully. I actually bought more of these for Little Sister. I like that it is a one-size diaper like my bumgenius 3.0s, but that it has a really soft inside and snaps instead of velcro. I love that my kiddo can wear it until she is potty trained.
  • Indian prefolds- I like the absorbancy of these prefolds much better than the ones you can buy in stores (like gerber). They can just fold up & get tucked into a cover, or I can fasten them with a snappi. The best part is that they cost less than $3. I've even used them at night, although I usually use two and Little Sister looks like a dancer in a Sir Mix-a-lot video.
These are the diapers I recommend. I have also tried Kushies, Sweet Cheeks, Happy Heiny Pocket diapers, and Happy Endings brands. They aren't my favorites, although some CDing mommies swear by a few of them.

As for PUL covers, I recommend Bummis Super Brite (the sizes are very generous on these so Little Sister hasn't outgrown them as quickly as the others) and Thirsties. Again, this is just my preference. There are lots of cute, uber-expensive covers out there, if that's your thing. I've gotten baby poop on too many covers to get that attached to them!

All right class, that's it for today's diaper lesson. Tune in next time for a lesson in washing your diapers, followed by information on the cloth diapering accessories I can't live without!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Over it! (My mommy resignation...)

I was planning on sitting down tonight and reflecting on making time for mommying. About how, whenever I have a project idea or special activity in mind to break the monotony of staying at home day after day, something always comes up. About how I have to be better at planning ahead, or let some of those somethings pass me by, or at least let my house be a little less clean for them. Maybe I'll think more about this another day. Tonight I don't want to make any more time for mommying. Tonight I am over it.

Before you think I'm a horrible person, let me say a few things in my own defense. 1) If you really think I am awful for wanting a break from being someone's mom, you must not be someone's mom yourself. And 2) I am not saying I want to sell my children to the circus. Maybe just rent them out for a day... I'm not really over it. Tomorrow, probably even later tonight, I will be mushily infatuated with my kids again. But for tonight, I want to be irritated with my kids. And for once today, I got what I want.

Big Sister is going through something that is trying my patience. It could be because her sister is now mobile and able to steal both her toys & her attention. It could be because I am trying to work a bit outside of the home, although she is not going to preschool anymore than she used to. The only bit of our schedule that has changed is an hour or two on Monday mornings and John doing dinner & bath on Thursday nights while I attend a planning meeting. But you would think that I have returned to the workforce full time and left my kid to be raised by wolves. She is clingy, and crabby, and needy, and disobedient, and hateful. But only sometimes. Other times she is wonderful and sweet and helpful... I know that is probably God's way of reminding me not to give up, but the inconsistency is what is making me want to submit my mommy resignation.

For instance, today started out wonderfully. Big Sister cooperated frighteningly well, so that we made it to the free family movie at the Rave with time to spare. She followed every direction, stayed close by, barely talked during the movie (which is more than can be said for pretty much all the rest of the theater) and helped me pick up trash and pack up to leave. I rarely do things in public with my two children (after the Barnes & Noble storytime when my, ahem, angel hit someone else... 's mom.) But this was awesome. Until about halfway home, when she started screaming & crying because I told her she wouldn't be able to watch Big Comfy Couch before naptime today. For heaven's sake, we had just sat still for two hours watching a movie! And, I hate to break it to her, but that goofy show has been cancelled on our PBS affiliate. Obviously, the programming people at the station do not have a daughter like mine. She spent lunch time and naptime alone trying to calm down and return to civilization.

After the drama subsided, we had a pleasant afternoon. We played Go Fish while Little Sister napped, and no fits were thrown when I won a round. But since she never really napped, I had a few things to work on while she was awake. She asked me when I was going to be finished the entire time. The notion of playing by herself is ridiculous to her lately. So I tried to find ways to participate in her imaginary scenarios and still fold laundry, make snacks, wash dishes, etc. The evening was exhausting, but uneventful.

Until bedtime, when all heck broke loose. She pretty much started throwing a fit before we got to the stairs, and continued throwing fits until just a few minutes ago (when I set a timer and threatened her with just about everything in my arsenal if she didn't stop screaming by the time it went off). The hard part for me is that a lot of the acting out is because she wants me. She wants more attention from me; she wants me to have to come back into the room; she wants me to lay down & rub her back; she wants me to stay in her room... you get the picture.

So here's the conundrum: I don't want to withhold myself from her as punishment, but I also don't want to reinforce her bad behaviors by giving her what she wants... giving her me. I feel like no matter what I do, I'll crack open a Developmental Psych textbook in twenty years and find my warped parenting as a case study in how to screw up your kid. And I'm only halfway joking. As a psychologically minded person, I obsess over what message my parenting choices are conveying to my child. I beat myself up all the time- somedays I feel like the mean parent who disciplines too much, other days I feel like a slacker who lets her kid wear pjs all day and serves ice cream for dinner and can't remember when the last time the older one had a bath.

I think that is what makes me want to quit most of all. It isn't putting up with someone's tantrums- I'd still have to deal with that if I went back to work, and I'd have to be a lot nicer to other people's kids. I'm joking- mostly! Instead, it is the responsibility for choosing the best way to react to said tantrums, and the tremendous frustration that comes with such responsibility. I think being a mom is probably about as stressful as being the president. You know how they talk about the red button? And how in a split second the president has to make a decision that will alter the course of countless lives? Well, moms have to make split-second, in-the-heat-of-the-(CRAZY)-moment decisions all the time. Is this behavior okay? If not, do I remember telling them it isn't? If they knew that and still did it, what is the consequence going to be? And my personal favorite: Crap. That didn't work and now they are just more out of control. What now? And all the while, we're thinking about how whatever we do will impact the mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and whatever-else-al health of our children and anyone they come in contact with later in life.

So there you have it. That's why I'm over it. I'm not mean. I'm not impatient. (oh wait, yes I am. That's just not the reason I want a day off). I just want someone else to make these hard decisions for me while I sip some lemonade and finish the Shopaholic series. Any takers? My children are angels, after all...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Big-Sisterisms

Big Sister has always had the most amazing vocabulary. She loves to learn new words, and I've never shied away from using big words with her. If she's unsure what it means, she will ask. It is amazing to me how quickly she tries to incorporate the new words she learns into her daily conversation. Most of the time, she remembers them well, and uses them correctly. Other times, well, just keep reading...

When Little Sister tried to grab Big Sister's cup during a snacktime together on the couch, Big Sister suggested to me that I get Little Sister her own cup. I showed her that I had, in fact, brought Little Sis a cup too, but that she was not interested in her own. Big Sister must have suspected the cup's content to be the problem. "Maybe you should get her some of that for-mee-lo." Trust me, Big Sister, even formula formeelo wouldn't keep her from wanting your cup.

Later on, Big Sis again decided that she needed a snack. Actually, to be totally honest, she decided that she wanted candy. But she knew what the answer would be if she simply asked for candy, especially since I'm pretty sure that she has blood sugar issues. (She can turn into Little Miss Crazy Pants if she gets hungry, or if she has sugar on an empty stomach and doesn't have some protein or complex carbs with it- something about the sweets causing a spike in her blood sugar and then causing it to fall too quickly, I think.) Instead, she came into the kitchen where I was wiping down the counter and asked, "Can I have a protein and then some candy?!"

It was right before dinner, so I told her to wait, that I was getting ready to make her a grilled cheese. She thought for a second, and then asked me "Well, can I have some candy afterturd?" Bahahahah!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Song for Sunday- inspiration from high school days

This song was one of my favorites a long time ago. I'm not sure what made me think of it this week, but I hope I can teach my girls to embrace life & all the risks that come with it. Honestly, I hope I can remember that myself! If you don't remember the touching video, check it out below- if you can get past Garth's crazy eyes.

Standing Outside the Fire
by Garth Brooks

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire

We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire



Saturday, June 6, 2009

Dancing Queen


Big Sister had a dance recital tonight. I know, I know. She's three. You're wondering if I am one of those moms that you see on Toddlers &Tiaras. (What's that? You've never seen it? Am I the only one willing to admit that I am sickeningly intrigued by the trashy train-wreckiness of it all?) Well, I am not one of those moms. At least, I don't think I am. I mean, I wasn't. Until I caught myself spritzing a stray hair with hairspray and applying the teensiest bit of eye shadow on my daughter, in the parking lot of Bi-Lo no less.


Hubby had run in to get some flowers to give our little ballerina after the performance, and I was making sure she was all set to run in and join the other girls. Since we'd never done this before, I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't want to put a bunch of junk on my three-year-old, but I also didn't want my kid to be the one whose mother didn't fix her up properly. When we got there, some of the little girls were wearing eyeliner and had elaborate prom night hairdos! Big Sister didn't even really have enough hair for a ballerina bun! (I somehow made the tiniest little knot in the back of her hair and pleaded with her not to touch it. She was pretty good about it, actually.)


I should mention that Big Sister's "dance class" is actually just a special part of her time at preschool, where the dance teacher pulls them out for an hour or so to once a week. (No crazy afterschool schedules for our kids just yet, thank you!) When we first signed up, Big Sister was having a hard time at school because she was one of the older kids in her class. So, 1) she was still adjusting to being a big sister and now had what she thought of as "babies" in class with her and 2) she was getting bored with letters & counting and needed a new challenge. Combine that with the fact that the dance teacher offered us a discount because I help out with the curriculum at school, and I was soon ordering tap shoes on ebay. I wasn't sure how much she would like it, or how well she would do, but it turned out to be something she really enjoys.



She did pretty well, considering she is probably the only still-three-year-old in the bunch. She did fall down on the slick stage during her ballet number, but she landed on her bottom (so that's why they wear tutus!) and got right back up to dance. That was probably our proudest moment of the night! There were a few times she was behind on her dance moves (as were most of the kids at any given time) but watching her form, I think it was because she was really trying to nail the positions. I know it is a little blurry because I wasn't allowed to use my flash, but check out her form:

Also, she is a bit of a drama queen... watching her I wondered if sometimes she was just imagining herself alone on stage, dancing in the spotlight, and keeping up with the others be darned! Need proof? Just look at the poses she struck when I gave her the bouquet of flowers!


I simply could not get the silly girl to look up & smile. She had to pose. Like a diva. Also, whenever anyone said the obligatory "You did a great job" as they passed us on the way out, she would reply, "I know!" We had to have a little talk about accepting compliments graciously. She really was quite adorable to watch, though. I realize I am a bit biased, but see for yourself:



After such an eventful evening, she was exhausted. We took our little dancer out to eat (Red Robin) and brought her home to bed. I told her several times how proud I was of her because of who she is, not just how she did. I hope, after all of the spray-on hair glitter (not my idea) and lip gloss are washed away, and the tights and tutu are packed up (or added to the dress up trunk) that she will remember that most of all.

Friday, June 5, 2009

My first giveaway!

*Updated- I realized that a few of the "regular" readers are out of town this weekend, so I'm going to extend the contest until next Saturday. That should give us plenty of time! ALSO, if you don't have kids/don't have a need for the hand sanitizer, I will let you pick out another item from the Coyote Cove site... Zac & Callen, they do have doggie shampoo!



This is my 111th post! (I kind of missed the 100th one a few posts ago, so this one will have to suffice in the significance department.) I've really come to look forward to sharing some of the wonderful madness that is our lives with you all. Over the past few weeks, I've been hearing from people I never knew read my blog. While it is encouraging to know that something I've written resonates with people, it is a little strange not to even know you're reading! I've only got seven followers listed, but I know there are more of you out there. And yes, relatives count!

So, I'm issuing a challenge. And a reward. I want anyone who reads my blog to comment on this post. Even if you just say, "I read it." I am going to have a drawing for everyone who comments before Monday next Saturday night. If you sign on as a follower, I'll enter you a second time. If you already are a follower (you lucky seven) and you comment, I'll enter you three times.


What are we winning, you ask? One of my new favorite things:


A little while ago, my friend Hope picked up some of this Coyote Pups Naturally Clean hand cleaner from their booth at the local market. I love it. It is like hand sanitizer without the chemicals, alcohol burn, or stink (although Hope says it smells like a hippie. It does smell like lavender and other essential oils, but I guess I rather enjoy smelling like a flower child! ) Here is how it is described on their website: For toddlers, children, and adults, this is an alcohol-free waterless hand cleaner. Aloe gel base with witch hazel and naturally antiseptic, anti-bacterial, and anti-viral essential oils.

It comes in a cute little 2 oz. spray bottle to fit in your purse, diaper bag, or the console of your car. There is also a pump option, but I haven't tried that yet. I know it isn't a giant prize, but it is my very first one. I've got to set the bar a little low to begin, right?

There is one more thing... I need to have at least 20 comments for the drawing to happen. So... ready, set, post!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Em's Cloth Diaper 101- Lesson One

A few people have asked me about cloth diapering lately. Either they are wondering if it is really "greener" (it is) or cheaper (it is), or they are curious about all of the choices out there. I wish when Big Sister was born that I had someone to tell me how easy it is. She was still sleeping in diapers when I was pregnant with Little Sister, so I was able to order and try out a few of the one-size diapers on a toddler and now an infant as well. Little Sister is 1 year old and we've used cloth for most of that time. (We used disposable when she was teeny tiny and I was recovering from the c-section, and recently when she developed a friction-type rash from her obsession with bouncing up & down in the crib combined with some rough hemp inserts- I put CDing on pause to let some medicine clear up the scary bruises). Normally, unless I've just fallen really behind on laundry, cloth is all we use.

As for the first question about "why cloth?" I can't provide any better answer than several other people already have. Here are some links I like to reference:
If you decide to go with cloth, the next question becomes what diapers to use. There are certainly an abundance of different types and brands. I've got some favorites, which of course I'll share, but the Diaper Pin link above is a great place to read reviews. I've only ever found one specific brand of diaper not reviewed at the Pin.

First, the different types. Here are the basics:
  1. Prefolds are the old square cloth diapers my mom used on me. They are often called Diaper Service Quality (DSQ) because most services still use prefolds. They can be made of different material, but are most commonly bleached or unbleached cotton. The advantage of prefolds? They are very inexpensive and easy to wash. You can add extra layers to add absorbancy. The disadvantages? They are a bit more complicated, although today you can use a Snappi instead of pins, and one prefold alone isn't the most absorbant option. Prefold diapers need a diaper cover.
  2. Fitted diapers are diapers that are fitted (Ahoy maties! It's me, Captain Obvious!) They most often fasten with aplix (generic word for Velcro) or snaps. The advantage is that they are easier than prefolds and often more absorbant on their own, but the disadvantage is the higher cost. Some fitted diapers will only fit a baby for a small amount of time, and others are meant to be adjustable so that they can grow with your baby. (There are some diapers, meant to fit from newborn to toddler, often called One-Size. If they still need a cover, I still consider them to fall in the category of fitted diapers.) Fitted diapers need a separate diaper cover most of the time, although there are exceptions.
  3. Pocket Diapers are diapers that have room for inserts to be stuffed inside of them to vary the absorbancy. Because they have an outer layer of PUL, Fleece, or another moisture catching material, pocket diapers do not need a separate cover. The advantages are the ability to vary the absorbancy quite easily, as well as the ability to "unstuff" the diaper to make washing & drying easier. Obviously, having the diaper & cover already assembled makes using these dipes easier, too. These are the kind of diapers I use for my diaper bag. The disadvantage is the price, and (in my humble opinion) the fact that not using a separate cover makes it impossible to wipe & reuse the covers in between washing your dipes. (My husband says this doesn't make sense, so I'll try to clarify. If you use a separate cover, you can wipe it out, let it dry, and reuse it after the next change. With the pocket dipes, the cover is the diaper, so you just have to chuck it in the pail after it is wet or dirty. For one thing, this makes more laundry. For another, I personally like to wash my PUL as little as possible because I want it to hold up. Make more sense, dear?) Just to add a little more confusion, there are some adjustable or even "one-size" pocket diapers, but there are also plenty of brands that make S,M,L sizes of pockets.
  4. All-in-One diapers are so named because there is no assembly required. You don't need to stuff or add a cover. They work just like a disposable, minus the whole throw-in-the-landfill-when-you're-done component. Obviously, these are the easiest to use. I bought a few of these for the diaper bag when we first sprung CDing on the nursery workers at church. They can also be the most expensive, and I find them a bit of a pain to dry. Most all-in-ones are size specific, meaning your baby will outgrow them a few times over the span of CDing.
There are some diapers that are hybrids between these four types, but this is the best way I know to explain/organize the options. In our house, we have used a mixture of all four types. I tend to save the All-in-Ones for diaper bag use (and short trips). The pockets used to be reserved as well, but now I like to stuff them (sometimes with a prefold for super absorbancy) and use them at night. I really like fitted dipes for daily use, because they wash easily and because I can rotate and reuse two or three covers in a given day. I also use prefolds- either just folding them and sticking them in the cover or fastening with a snappi. I seldom have problems with leaks, but I don't leave them on really long. I also have a few really cool pre-fitted diapers, which means a pre-fold that has been trimmed to fit. It is not as bulky as other fitted dipes, but I can get it on wiggly Little Sister easier than a prefold. For those of you who sew, here is a step-by-step guide for making these type of diapers.

That's all I have time to type right now, but I'll post again about my favorite brands of each of these kinds of diapers. If you just can't wait to learn more, check out The Pin for an overwhelming amount of information! And if you just can't wait to buy diapers, here are my top three sites:
Again, you can read reviews of retailers on The Pin as well. Happy researching!