This dog...

... only looks sweet and innocent.

Okay, actually she is really sweet. She's the clumsiest, snuggliest, biggest lapdog I've ever met. (Well, there was this Great Dane I met when volunteering at a shelter once, but besides him, it's Sophie, hands down.)

But she is not innocent.

She has started chewing again. Chewing everything.

A few days ago the girls and I came home from the playground, and I stumbled upon a macabre scene. Tinkerbell's head, arms, torso and some shreds of her clothing were scattered under the dining room table (aka Sophie's Den of Destruction). The rest of her dress (actually one that was borrowed from Cinderella) was in pieces in the living room. Fortunately, I was able to hurry the girls upstairs and secretly dispose of the evidence. Does this make me an accessory?

Besides the gruesome attack on an innocent fairy, Sophie has recently destroyed a bean bag (that wasn't messy at all), a stuffed cow, two Dora sippy cups, a flannel fitted sheet, a few plastic snack bowls, a swing for zhu zhu pets, three pencils, some semi-important papers, countless crayons, and more take-and-toss cups/lids than I care to recall. She has also stolen cloth napkins from the table, towels from the kitchen and laundry basket, and socks and dirty underwear (!) from the laundry room.

I'm filled with dread every time I come home (or even just downstairs) and am greeted by her guilty face and apologetic tail wag. It's like she's saying "I did it. I can't lie to you and I know you'll be mad. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT."

I think it's boredom. We try to get her exercise, and she and Al love to race around the yard. But the mornings have been cold and dark and our afternoons/evenings so inconsistent that we keep putting off that "walking routine" we dream about. It might also be pent-up frustration; she spends a lot of time on a long tether (because she still jumps the fence), watching squirrels and neighborhood cats that are just out of reach. Even inside, she watches...

So for now, we just have to try to remember to keep things out of reach. And give her new things to chew.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Or any empty peanut butter jars or pizza boxes my dog can tear up?

The clean-up is a pain, but it is much better than the alternative.