What's in a name?

I just tucked the girls in to bed (for the second time). When I leave we always say "goodnight" to each other, one more time. Tonight, Little Sister decided to forgo "Mommy" and called me by my name! I got so tickled that I had to whisper a quick "I love you" and head out the door.

Little Sister is just figuring out names. She's known the names of her friends and teachers for ages. But lately she has become obsessed with ours. And her own.

I think it started one night when she was especially restless before bed. Sometimes I pull the blankets around her all snuggly-ish, rub her back, and talk to her with a soothing whisper. I tell her things like how comfy her bed and covers are, and how she is going to close her eyes and snuggle to sleep, so she can drift into dreamland and have wonderful, peaceful, happy dreams. It's her little "sleep pep talk." At the end of it, I'll say "goodnight" again.

Apparently this time, I said, "Goodnight, kiddo."

Forget the peptalk. Those drowsy, half-closed eyes popped wide open as she told me "name's [Little Sis]. Say 'Goodnight Little Sis.'" It took me a few times to know what in the world she was saying, so I had to start the whole thing over again. You can be sure that I said her name the next time.

The same thing has happened if I call her "kiddo" or "sweetie" while fixing breakfast, buckling her carseat or building blocks. I won't even realize that I've said anything out of the ordinary, but there she is, patting herself on the chest and declaring her name, which at that point might as well be Tarzan.

The funny thing is that now she likes the nicknames, some of the time. Some days she'll ask me to say "goodnight Kiddo." And today, when I asked her what her name was, she insisted it was "Sweetie." Although, with her cute little toddler talk, it sounds more like "Sveetie."

And of course, all of this talk about her name has lead me to ask her about my name. She always just answers, "Mommy." And, even though months ago she beckoned for her dad using his first name in a tone I must admit to using to bellow down the steps when I needed a hand for a tricky diaper change, "Daddy" has been the only answer for his name, too.

Little Ones don't have a sense of anything or anyone outside of their own little world. In my psych and education classes we called it egocentrism. In our house we just call it life.

I'll admit, on some of the dark days I've had in the recent months, I resented only being seen as "mommy." But as the clouds are lifting I'm remembering the wonder and potential with which I once approached the role. Thank God for that.

And thank God for those exhausting, demanding, egocentric... adorable, entertaining, ever-changing little girls.