It's a post about everything swimming around in my brain these days. About anxiety, frustration, exhaustion and... depression. Yeah, I said it.
It's a post about busyness and the feeling that something is still missing despite there being no time to fit it in anyway.
It's a post about how somewhere along the line, the burning passion to serve God and others faithfully at every opportunity led to burn out and feelings of resentment and obligation.
But I don't know if or when I'll post it. Because today, Shaun Groves said it better than I ever could.
Go here to read his post.
This was literally the fifth time in a little over a week that I heard someone talk about some sort of "leave of absence" when leadership for the sake of serving Christ distracts from or distorts our intended relationship with God. And I've lost count of the other ways God has been trying to get me to turn my attention to Him, to get me to slow down, to listen. I think I've kept myself busy intentionally to drown out the still small Voice.
No more.
I'm pulling the rope.
4 comments:
In the last 3 weeks, I have honestly come to believe our entire service to the Kingdom must be summed up by Galatians 5:1 or it's all wrong.
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."
Yes, I know this is talking about our slavery to sin and such, but man, it seems to speak to our spiritual walks on so many levels, not the least of which is our areas of service.
Obligation and responsibility are slave drivers. Love is freedom.
When we serve out of our love for God and His love for us, there is freedom in that. When it drifts over into obligation and responsibility, even slightly, slavery/bondage ensues and the joy is removed.
Emily, I have been struggling with this shifting dichotomy forever, but I have found, as of late, when I truly meditate on the divine truth of the freedom Christ gave us and the freedom in which He calls us to live (and serve), the weight is greatly, greatly lifted!
I encourage you, from now til whenever, to implant this verse on your heart, speak it out loud at every turn, and ask God to fill you with His Spirit in such a way that you can live (and serve) in that very freedom so that you can experience the peace and joy that God desires for you to have as you are carrying out your obedience to Him.
I thank you sincerely for your servant's heart!
Sean
Thanks for your wisdom and encouragement, Sean.
I've definitely forgotten the joy in my service. But more than that, I think I've forgotten the grace that prompted it in the first place. I've not been working from the overflow, but from my own sludgey dregs. Yes, obligation has been my slave driver, but self-reliance, or perhaps some notion that I could control my own life and relationship with God, sold me into slavery in the first place.
As I begin this new season, I've kept going back to the woman Jesus healed that was bent over- I feel like that, from trying to carry too big a load. Interesting that he "sets her free!" I love how the concept of freedom applies in this situation. Thanks again.
Yes, grace is the key. It is the very vehicle by which we have the FREEDOM to serve and by which we can live in the freedom we have been given.
Hang in there! It's only the enemy lying to you, that you MUST and SHOULD do certain things, both of which rob you of the very freedom Christ has already given you.
Love you Em!!! Praying God will grant you what He knows you need!!! :) Thanks for being honest and sharing so transparently.
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