Pre-school (and Mommy) Drama

Remember in my last post, when I said all that stuff about motherhood and how wonderful it is? Just kidding.

No, it really is wonderful. And challenging. Sometimes really challenging. Like when dealing with Big Sister and all of her recent drama. I'll never understand what makes pre-schoolers treat some simple everyday occurrences as if they were the end of the world as we know it (and trust me, REM fans, no one feels fine.) As dramatic as I can be sometimes, I have very little patience for over-reaction. I try to appreciate the small blessings and (note the word TRY) to take the small misfortunes in stride.

For instance, on Monday the weather was glorious. During Little Sister's morning nap, Big Sister and I took the baby monitor into the front yard and soaked up the Spring. We picked a few flowers, chased each other through the grass, sat on the porch and rocked, and even did a little yard work. When we came back in, we found that Sophie had also been having a wonderful time- eating Big Sister's cute new stationary set, which she got from Nana for Easter. The stickers were slobbery, the pencil had numerous tooth-marks, and the rainbow-colored heart erasers were... gone. Except for the few crumbs Sophie had left behind to remind Big Sister that they had, in fact, existed and therefore were to be missed. Sorely. Loudly. Dramatically missed. When I finally remembered a small collection of erasers in Big Sister's treasure basket and let her pick one to replace the massacred rainbow hearts, the tears stopped almost immediately. She even started laughing. Not I-conned-you-with-my-fake-fit laughing, but more like I-am-just-at-a-loss-as-to-how-to-control-my-emotions laughing. Kind of reminded me of how I feel everytime I watch the "Here, hit this" scene in Steel Magnolias. It was like PMS for pre-school.

So, Big Sis was all better- for a little while, anyway. Instead of the rainbow heart erasers, she had a little white rabbit one with pink ears. While I switched over the laundry, she made up a story about "SuperRabbit" and acted it out for me. She even had another adventure planned: "SuperRabbit saves the Princess- coming soon!" I wish I had watched more closely, because SuperRabbit was not long for this world... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

After Little Sister woke up and we all had lunch, we went back outside to enjoy the day. There were a few moments there when I felt the utter completeness of my life. Two sweet girls, smelling like sunscreen, enjoying the breeze and the birdsong and even each other. Big Sister and I drew with Carrot-shaped sidewalk chalk (from Easter)- she wanted to make pretend rules for the "beach" where we sat on a blanket. She drew a shady tree, then a red circle & a line through it. Apparently, there is to be nothing at the beach to interfere with Hannah's tan. Our rules got sillier- I drew a baby, eatting carrot-shaped chalk, and we circled & crossed it out as well, hoping to keep Little Sister from putting any more of our medium into her mouth. Then Little Sis and I moved to the porch and rocked while Big Sister pretended to be Ariel, swimming back & forth on the walkway in front of us. It was a little bit of Mommy-bliss.

Until Big Sister tripped. And fell. And began screaming. I put Little Sister back onto the blanket and scooped Big Sister up. I kissed her knees and promised a band-aid when we got back inside. In her toddler days, that would have been all she needed to resume playing for a few more minutes, or at least to help me gather everything up so we could go inside. Not anymore. She wailed and said she couldn't walk, let alone carry her chalk (so that I could carry Little Sis, the blanket, the monitor, etc...) Once inside, she wailed so loudly & so long that Little Sis became terrified (or at least sympathetic) and joined in. Even after the clean-up and patch-up process was over, she was still hollering. I finally raised my voice too, sounding a little like Cher in Moonstruck as I scolded her and told her to get it together. Almost immediately, she calmed down. But not for long.

At nap time, I had to convince her that she could straighten her legs (and that her knees would probably feel better that way.) I also had to make a very persuasive argument about how the body needs rest to heal and that napping would actually help, rather than hurt, her obviously traumatized legs. The only upside was that she was so worried about further injuring herself that she opted out of her naptime stories and instead laid in her bed, stiff as a board, which meant she fell asleep in record time.

I should mention here that it was during naptime when I saw Sophie happily chewing on something suspicious. I could tell by the pink ear I pried out of her mouth that she had added SuperRabbit to the long list of devoured toys. I tried to get rid of all of the evidence and said a prayer that Big Sister would forget about him amongst all of the skinned-knee drama.

When Big Sister woke up from her nap, the drama began anew. She couldn't stand up after going potty because her knees hurt her so badly... I told her that was too bad, because I was getting ready to put away the extra erasers she had earned from the treasure chest for taking such a nice nap. She was miraculously healed. Of course, I had brought up erasers, so she set out to find SuperRabbit. I missed a piece, and she found evidence of his demise on the couch as we sat playing with her new erasers. Amazingly, she took it in stride. She was sad, but reminded herself (and me) that she had lots of other erasers and toys and that she was still very lucky. Where was that wisdom when she was howling about her scrapes?!

The drama came back one more time, during bath. She was so worried about how the water might sting that she started crying before she even got in it. She fussed for the entire bath, until she got Little Sister started again and I sped up the scrubbing and got us all out of the bathroom in record time. This time, I decided to remind her of some perspective. I've been reading so many blogs of parents who have lost children or who struggle to take care of seriously sick babies, and my little girl was FINE, except for a scraped knee. I scolded her, loved on her, talked to her, fussed at her, snuggled with her, and prayed for her. With new band-aids, a reminder of our bodies' amazing healing abilities during sleep, and hopefully a little perspective, she finally settled in for the night.

I hoped we had put the drama to bed as well. Not so much.

Yesterday, disappointment over not getting an extra donut caused Big Sister to throw a fit the whole way home from preschool, which culminated in a cup hitting me in the head while I was driving. (We don't often spank, but throwing things in the car is an automatic spanking at our house. Sorry for you non-spankers, but it's just too dangerous!) She spent the rest of the evening looking at books in her room, but was truly apologetic and back to her sweet self as soon as she got there. I'm not sure if this is typical pre-school behavior. I've contemplated taking her to the doctor to check her ears again, since that was the explanation the last time she pulled a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde. Honestly, it might be nice if this madness can be fixed with an antibiotic- I might not loathe them so much after all! But if it is just the age, we'll survive. I'll just need a little extra patience (and a lot of extra chocolate).

As for what I said about overlooking the small stuff and keeping perspective? It's not an easy thing to do. Lots of little things add up. On top of Big Sister's behavior we have a broken a/c fan, something going on with the transmission in the flaming truck, a fussy (teething?) baby, and a dog who ate 10 buffalo chicken bones whole last night (which could be cause for surgery). But, I'm thankful that I have a home, a/c or not. And I'm grateful that we have another vehicle to rely on when one is acting up. I'm blessed with two healthy, wonderful children whose biggest health concerns are teething, crawling or scraped knees. I have the resources (although less than before she came!) to take in a stray and provide care for her. More importantly, I have been taken in much in the same way, and I am sure I try God's patience much more than silly Sophie tries mine. So, if I start to get too dramatic, can someone please be my Cher? We all need a good "Snap out of it" every now and again.

God has promised
strength for the day,
rest for the labor,
light for the way,
grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.
~Annie Johnson Flint

She did it!

Little Sister is crawling!!!!

She did it the teensiest bit on Monday, a little more on Tuesday, and this morning she was actually moving a few feet forward. If something is further away, rolling is still her preferred method of mobility. You should see her roll- she would make my grumpy old elementary gym teacher (and coach of the gym club) almost smile. ( And then he would yell, "Faster, Grandma!" Seriously. That guy was a jerk. AND he was the vice principal. But I digress...)

Little Sis has decided that crawling was not a big enough milestone to acheive this week. She has also finally figured out how to get to a sitting position from laying down. This means that she no longer lays in her crib looking up hopefully when I come in to get her after a nap. It also means that if she doesn't feel like taking a nap, she will first sit up, then pull herself up, and finally jump up and down, yelling and holding on to the crib rails like some wild prisoner! It's cute, if it isn't at 4:00 in the morning like last night.

Because she can now do and see so many more things, she is also not sure she wants to waste time nursing. I'm having to give her a cup more often, and I've even included a little bit of whole milk- yet another milestone. Apparently with this kiddo and growing, it's either all or nothing. She seems to be making up for lost time, and she has momentum on her side. I'm excited to see her learning new things, but I'm a little sad too. Hubby & I aren't sure if we will have any more kids (of our own anyway, we definitely want to foster/adopt down the road) so this might be my last little one to nurse and snuggle. These might be my last milestones to anticipate and celebrate.

When Big Sister was tiny, I read some wisdom- on a mom blog, or a parenting book, or babycenter - about mommies, babies, and our ever-changing relationships. We start out as close as humanly possible- carrying our little ones inside, protecting them and providing everything for them. When a baby is born she immediately begins the process of slowly, one stage at a time, becoming less dependent on her mommy. Each milestone that is cause for celebration is also an indicator that we, as mothers, are needed a little less: holding a bottle, sitting up on her own, crawling, feeding herself finger foods, talking (although most of the time moms are still needed for translation!), walking, potty-training... the list goes on and on. Each step my precious girls take can feel like one more step away from me. But even that, upon reflection, is cause for celebration. Isn't my job as a mother to "work myself out of a job?" To develop beautiful, thoughtful, compassionate, well-equipped, whole little people who can bring their own uniquely wonderful perspective and gifts to the world around them? To support them with each step that they take, and then one day say a prayer and watch them take steps on their own?

So, crawl on, little one. But don't get in too big a hurry. And don't think you can ever go far enough away that your mommy won't still be watching, loving and celebrating you.

$100 in gift certificates for $8.00!

I've got another post brewing about my dramatic day yesterday, but I wanted to let everyone know about this amazing deal I found today:

Restaurant.com has 80% off of their gift certificates with the coupon code LUCKY

I seriously just ordered four $25 gift certificates for a total of $8.00. No more complaints about never going out because it is too expensive! There are some spending requirements, but other than that it works just like a gift certificate. The restaurants available are limited (only three in this area that I could find) but depending on where you live, you might have more choices. If you're interested, check out the site soon because some of the restaurants have a limited number available!

Song for Sunday- a memory & a smile...

We Danced Anyway
Deana Carter

The summer air was heavy and sweet
You and I on a crowded street
There was music everywhere
I can see us there

In a happy little foreign town
Where the stars are upside down
A half a world away
Far far away


I remember
You were laughing
We were so in love
We were so in love

And the band played
Songs that we had never heard
But we danced anyway
We never understood the words
We just sang "oh, la la la la la la la la"
And we danced anyway

They say you cant go back
But, baby, I dont believe that
Come along with me
Come on and dance with me

Maybe if I hold you close
Baby, we could just let go
Of these things that tie us down
We'll come back around

You remember
We were laughing
We were so in love, so in love

And the band played
Songs that we had never heard
But we danced anyway
We never understood the words
We just sang "oh, la la la la la la la la"
And we danced anyway

Attention K-Mart Shoppers!

I just wanted to let everyone know that I saved $60 with my coupons at K-Mart yesterday! Thanks to some very coupon-savvy friends, I found out about K-mart's double coupon promotion. Most grocery stores will double coupons with a value up to $0.50 or $0.60, but during this promotional period K-Mart is doubling coupons up to $2.00! They can't be copied or printable coupons, and there are a few other exceptions. Also, you can only use 25- which I did. Saving $60 with 25 coupons is HUGE! So get out your big coupons, head over to your K-mart (you might want to call first, to see if they are a part of the promotion), and start saving!

Also, those same wonderful friends shared a new site with me: Southern Savers. They spell out the best deals, offer links to printable coupons, and even give you step-by-step instructions for how to get the most out of sales. The CVS tips are really great. Thanks, Melora & Steph for teaching me new ways to save money, and Hope for being my K-mart buddy.

Happy Earth Day!

Today is Earth Day, and we're pretty excited about it at our house. (I'd be more excited if I weren't feeling awful due to an attack of every nursing momma's nightmare, but que sera sera.) We're not always the greenest family, but we really try to do our part. Here are some things we've done in our home over the last few years in an attempt to be nicer to our earth:

1. Cloth diapers! You knew it was coming. We are saving landfill space, keeping human waste out of landfills (and from running off into our water... think about that!), and using less wood pulp and petroleum. Yes, energy is used to make and wash cloth diapers, too, but we'll use far less (and use them over & over.) We're also keeping chemicals off of our daughter's bottom, and we know exactly what materials are up against her skin.
2. Reduce & Reuse: I try to buy almost all of the girls' clothes second-hand. We don't have a lot of new furniture, and we try to look for sustainably harvested wood when we do consider a purchase. I personally would rather slap some paint on an old piece anyway- more character! I belong to the local Freecycle group and Hubs just joined Swaptree, both to stop ourselves from keeping things that are just taking up extra space (and buying more) and to keep usable items from being thrown away. We have a ton of reusable shopping bags- we keep some in both of our cars in case we make an unplanned stop on the way home. A friend (the Brown-eyed Pea!) gave me some really cute Envirosax bags that fold up to fit in my purse or diaper bag. I use them in retail stores where I never remember to bring my canvas bags!
   
3. Recycling: Our county does not have a curbside program, so we bought big plastic laundry hampers to keep in the garage- one for each type of recyclable. At first we were driving them to a nearby center, but then my hubby helped arrange for us to start collecting recycling at church. An organization for the disabled picks it up. We don't have to take it anywhere out of our way, and they keep the funds and are able to provide work for some of the people they service.
4. Composting: We started small with this one. We just collect our coffee grounds, fruit peels, egg shells and other organic waste in old plastic salad containers. When they get full, we dump them in a pile in the wooded part of our yard beyond the fence. When Hubby mows or when I prune the roses or weed flowerbeds, that goes with it too. Hubs turns it frequently, and it becomes a nice rich fertilizer. We'd eventually like to get a fancy composter or a pretty canister for our counter, but it is possible to start composting without it!
5. Speaking of yard work: last year I planted some perennials (most came from someone at church for free!) that were tough and needed less water. This year we are planning to mulch a larger portion of our yard because the mowing, watering, fertilizing and chemicals sometimes needed for lawn maintenance isn't very green (sidenote- cypress mulch is NOT made from sustainable forests, go with something else.) Trying to use native plants is another way to make your yard more earth friendly. National Wildlife Federation has some great resources on how to make your yard greener and friendlier for wildlife in your area.
6. Using less water: We turn off our faucets when brushing our teeth. We try to water the flowers or fill up the pet water dishes using the water that is wasted when the shower or sink faucet is heating up (although this is a tough one to remember). We cram the dishwasher and the clothes washer full before running a cycle. Whenever possible, we bathe the girls together (that's just easier anyway!) We installed a low flow showerhead that has a "pause" feature for when you're lathering your shampoo or shaving your legs. (Here is a blog I found that is giving away one of these for free! Check it out!) And, although I have mixed feelings about admitting it, I do let it mellow if it's yellow. But only when it's just us at home. If you come over, we will flush. I promise.
7. Using less energy: We tried to weather-seal our home, with mixed results. Our front door is still very drafty, so if anyone has any tips, let us know. Hubby is very good about turning out lights and such (I am a bit forgetful but getting better!), and we have solar lights for our front walk. We use our ceiling fans and are trying to wean ourselves off of the heat & a/c a bit at a time. Oh- and CFL light bulbs. There is no reason not to buy these- even if you're a global warming skeptic, they will save you money! We also try to use less gas when we can, but we do not live within walking distance of anything, so that is difficult.
8. Use less paper (I guess this could have gone under "reduce" but I forgot: We use cloth napkins, cloth baby wipes, and keep our old towels for spills and such. We still use paper towels, but a roll lasts us a long time. We use scrap paper for everything we can, try to print on both sides, and sign up for e-statements, bills, catalogs, etc. I pay my bills online, and if I do get paper bills, I keep the envelopes for any snail mail I might need to send. I haven't bought a box of envelopes in years! We do still get a lot of magazines, though, so we need to work on that.
   
9. Spending wisely: There are a lot of organizations that say they are doing things for the earth- it can be hard to discern where to contribute. We've given to Earthjustice, National Wildlife Federation, and the ASPCA (which is not really about environmental conservation, but is about taking care of creation.) We also broke our bank on one silly dog who came to live with us, in the name of compassion and caring for God's creatures. We try to buy recycled paper products and to support companies that try to offset their carbon footprints, avoid animal testing, etc. I use a lot of natural cleaners, baking soda, vinegar, borax, etc. We buy a lot of organic products, even though they are more expensive. If everyone did, the supply would eventually go up and the cost would go down! I've already seen this happen some in the last few years as being "green" has become more trendy. Another way we try to shop smart is to buy things that have less distance to travel- naturally local farmers' markets are best, but even just things from the same state or region is better than stuff flown in from Chile or wherever. Some people say that is better for the environment than purchasing organic! Also, we try to buy things with less packaging and that are more concentrated or lighter to ship. Did you know eco-friendly powdered detergent is better to buy because it weighs less for transport?
10. Speaking up: My husband shared a very powerful sermon with our church last year about our responsibility to care for God's creation. He has also found some groups in our area who get together to share ideas, raise awareness, etc. for the cause. At our own church, we've started a group to help make things greener- we've already gotten the recycling and convinced the kitchen to stop using disposable dishes! Speaking up also means being informed, voting and voicing your opinion to our civil servants & politicians!!!
    

Did I give you this long list to toot my own horn and try to win a prize for the Greenest Gal? Not hardly. I was just hoping at least one of the above ideas would give you a new way to change the way you treat the earth. If you have questions about how some of those things work, or more ideas to share, please feel free to comment! We definitely still have a long way to go. Here are some things we are planning (or dreaming) to do at our house:

1. Install rainbarrels to water our lawn & gardens, and use gray water more.
   
2. Remember to change our air filters so our a/c and heat run more efficiently.
3. Take shorter (or cooler, or both) showers.
4. Put up a clothesline to dry things outside (we currently have a small drying rack for diapers, but I want a big one!)
   
5. Use more power strips to completely turn off electronics with "stand-by" modes.
6. Invest in CSA (community shared agriculture) by volunteering and purchasing produce.
7. Be more discerning about more of the products we buy- especially toiletries & some cleaning products.
8. Replace our existing appliances with more energy efficient ones.
9. Install other sources of power at our home- solar panels, wind, etc.
10. For our next vehicle, go hybrid or biodiesel.

And here is a really unique idea from my hero, Shane Claiborne. I haven't convinced Hubby to let me do it yet, but one of these days...

And here is a link to part of the Earth Day special I watched in fifth grade. Thanks to Chad M. for sharing it. Bette Midler played Mother Earth. She was (who am I kidding, still is) one of my heroes, so I really paid attention to this one.

Also, I want to let you know about an offer from Reynolds Wrap for a FREE roll of their new recycled aluminum foil. It is only good TODAY, so click here to check it out!

Crater Lake National Park, Oregon

"The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." Psalm 24:1

Momzilla... or just proud?

I want to brag on my kid for a minute. So if you're not into that, skip this entry. But it would be nice if you could just hear me out...

I like to talk about my girls a lot, especially on this blog. But I've never thought of myself as one of those super-competitive moms who wants to compare everything and declare her child the winner. I just finished a book called Momzillas about those kind of moms who live on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. Actually, it was a lot like The Real Housewives of New York (which I am embarassed to say I have watched -and enjoyed- a few times. It gets boring when hubby is working late!) only with preschoolers. Language skills, artistic ability, potty-training, head circumference, Apgar scores... you name it and it became a competition. You don't have to live near Central Park to run into this either- everyone knows at least one mom who tries to find something her kid is better at than yours.

I feel like I've tried very hard not to be that mom. I studied child development enough to know that kids grow at their own pace. There were things Big Sister did early, and there were other things that I saw other kids her age doing and thought "Who knew?!" or "I'd better get on that!" She's always been quite verbal and very smart, but I never needed to prove it to other moms. The astonishment and compliments from random people at Target, moms at the park, even our own pediatrician, were affirmation enough.

SO- don't take this as a "my kid is smarter than your kid" post. It's simply an "I'm amazed that I had anything to do with developing this kid, isn't she great?" post: Big Sister, my three-and-a-half-year-old, can read! Not like a ""memorizing her favorite books" kind of reading. She is sounding out letters and figuring out words. Simple ones, for now, but it is amazing. She can spend an hour on Starfall playing the phonics games and figuring out the stories. She's also, as you can see from the picture above, working on writing. Her imagination is terrific (yesterday she found a tiny Barbie crown in the parking lot at church and decided it must have belonged to a tiny mouse princess who lost it...) so when the reading/writing skills come along, I am expecting a wonderful little storyteller. Maybe she'll have her own blog before we know it!



njhhhhhhhhhhhhhn vvbvvbv
Oh, that is from Little Sister. She's a genius too...

Happy Engagaversary!

Flashback with me if you will to April 18, 2002. I was getting ready to leave the school where I worked as an aide with two preschoolers with autism, when my cell phone rang. My aunt told me she needed my help with something. Truth be told, I had accidentally seen an e-mail from DaddyClay to my parents titled April 18th, so I was already a little suspicious. We knew we wanted to get married, and I had already made plans to move to Birmingham (where he was in seminary) to start a masters program in June. I had made it quite clear I was not going to pick up & move without some (shiny) symbol of his committment. He wanted to try and plan a special proposal and attempt to surprise me, but he was running out of time.

When I hung up the phone, I even joked with a co-worker that I thought I might be leaving to go get engaged, and I hurried home to meet up with my aunt. We ended up driving all around this neighborhood in Covington, supposedly to meet someone and pick up furniture. The thing is, I really started believing her! I seriously thought we were getting furniture and I guess I kind of forgot about my suspicions in the weirdness of it all- until we ended up at one of my favorite places: Devou Park. Here is a picture of the view:



When we pulled up to the park in her truck, she asked me if I knew "that guy over there" and pointed to him- freshly flown in from Birmingham, dressed up and sitting on a picnic blanket with all sorts of keepsakes & fun stuff to commemorate different events in our relationship (and even candles, which wouldn't stay lit). Then he read some scripture, got down on one knee, with a few tears in his eyes, and asked me to be his wife.

We were so excited to show everyone the ring and share our good news. I was so excited to become his wife; I loved him so much. But I had no idea how much more I would love him every day as we began to build a life together. We usually go out to celebrate April 18th, but this year it came and went by fairly quietly. Appointments, yard work, kid stuff, an event at church- life kind of got in the way. But (to quote Jon & Kate) it is our life. One we set out to share seven years ago, never knowing how wonderful it, or we, could be. I love you, sweetie!

Happy Birthday Al Dog!

Okay, this picture is really from Big Sister's first birthday, but it looks like it could be from Al's. Our sweet guy is 7 years old! Since we adopted him from a shelter in Birmingham, we don't actually know when he was born, but they estimated it was around this time. April 18 is also when John & I got engaged, so we like to think our puppy might have been born then too. He is our firstborn!

When we first got Al (Al Pacino. That's what the shelter had named him. You can't make this up.), we were going into the store to buy some fish. Talk about your impulse buy! But he melted in my arms when asked to hold him, and he was named after The Godfather. We figured it was pretty much an ordained meeting. Seven years later, I'd call it the best un-thought-out decision we've ever made. Al is a gentle giant. He faithfully guards the house and herds our children (and our other dog). He sleeps with me at night when Hubby is out of town or just staying up late. If you house-sit for us, he'll sleep with you too! He loves to have his paws scratched, still has never learned to contain himself when company comes over, LOVES rawhide, seems to enjoy standing and squinting in the rain, and hates to share (people, toys, treats, whatever). He probably is not ever walked enough, but he still gets hopeful whenever anyone in our house puts on their tennis shoes. He sometimes steals food that Hannah has abandoned, but always looks like he feels really guilty afterwards. He is always happy to see us, no matter how long we've been gone.

The picture above isn't totally accurate. Al is getting gray. Seeing him next to a young puppy like Sophie has revealed to us how much our sweet dog has aged (although Sophie has livened him up a bit, too.) There is a little less skip in his step, and his hips are getting stiff. Big dogs don't live forever, but we sure wish this one could. He has been the best dog anyone could ask for. Happy Birthday Buddy! Here's to seven more...

Pageants & watermelons...

One of the few places moms have to collect their thoughts and be alone is in the shower. Some days, when Hubby is home or my parents are visiting, I can turn a shower into a 30-minute luxury spa retreat (not very green, I know...). On other days, I hurry to get clean while frantically singing "The Wheels on the Bus" and peeking out of the curtain every few seconds hoping Little Sister will let me at least rinse the conditioner out of my hair before she completely unravels. There are lots of days in between these two extremes, when Little Sis plays sweetly in her baby papazan seat or when Big Sister watches a vhs tape on my bed, allowing me a quick (but quiet) shower. This was one of those days; Daddy & Big Sister were off to work & preschool, Little Sister was contently banging two toys together on the other side of the curtain, and my mind started racing (as it often does when it suddenly finds itself on respite from mommy duty.)

You know how it is- you start with one idea and it begins a strange thought chain that eventually brings you to something you haven't thought of in years. All I remember is I started thinking about the lip gloss Big Sister shared with me when she was getting ready for school, and suddenly I was thinking about a friend from college, and how she once fixed my hair for a pageant.

I know, right? I'm not exactly the pageant type. But at Georgetown there is a pageant called Belle of the Blue. Aside from poise & interviews & talent, they also take into account your year and GPA. My sorority nominated me more for my 4.0 than for my ability to wear a tiara. It wasn't a complete disaster, but it is one of those random things on which I look back & think "that was weird." I had to interview with the judges before the pageant. I learned an opening dance number with all of the other girls in which we wore flapper outfits. I sang Orange Colored Sky for my talent portion. And I answered a "current events" question in front of the audience. This is where my "shower thought chain" ended today- in what I call an "I carried a watermelon" moment (if you haven't seen Dirty Dancing... what is wrong with you?!)

I found myself remembering the answer I gave, and rewriting it as if I could do it over again. (I should note that my answer was not horrible, like this poor girl, but neither was it horribly thoughtful or insightful.) The emcee asked how we felt about requiring community service hours for graduation from public high schools. Most of us said that we thought community service requirements were a good idea. I recalled the hours I put in at Ursuline and how eye-opening they were. Decent answer. But nothing new.

Shortly after my turn, a girl answered differently. She said if your heart wasn't in it, you shouldn't be forced to do it. I don't know if it was the idea itself, the boldness of her answer, or the fact that it was finally different- something about her response made the crowd go crazy. Up until today, I've remembered that moment, and I suppose a part of me has regretted not answering "correctly." But the more I think about it, I realize that I still don't think her answer was the right one.

Growing up, I had to take "no-thank-you-bites" of everything on my plate. My parents wanted me to firmly grasp the idea that I would never know that I liked (or didn't like) something unless I gave it a try. Now that I am a mom myself, I know how frustrating it can be to get kids to try new things. Big Sister is the pickiest kid I know- she doesn't eat meat (except for cheeseburgers from McDonalds and the occasional Chikfila nugget) and she doesn't like many cooked veggies. Her diet consists mainly of some form of cheese (cream, shredded, cubed, puff -just seeing if you were paying attention!) or yogurt, fruit, and some grains. She will eat raw carrots, celery and broccoli, but in miniscule amounts. If she were lactose intolerant, I don't know what we would do.
I can't tell you how often I offer something truly wonderful to my daughter, only to have her refuse to even try it. Or worse- she takes it in her mouth, moves it around a bit, and then spits it back out without even actually tasting it- usually not into her napkin. Not only has she wasted delicious food, but she has made a mess as well!

Here's another example: Little Sister is 10 1/2 months old and still won't crawl. She gets on all fours and rocks back and forth. She even reaches for things, but then she flops back down onto her belly and rolls to get them. Rolling is what she knows. It's comfortable.

The truth is that as teenagers and adults our palates might mature, and hopefully we've gotten past the rolling around on the floor stage, but we're still scared to try new things. We seek the comfortable at all costs- whether it be ratty old sweatpants, air conditioning, a tried & true group of friends, ordering "the usual," the same town we've lived in all of our life, or something else. Trying something new is scary & hard, and those aren't exactly great PR words. It often takes a little push to get us to open up to a new idea or experience. Sometimes that push is just the desire for something new, but sometimes it might come from a loved one (or in effort to snag a loved one). Our parents, our spouses, our kids, and for believers the Holy Spirit, all stretch us and help us to leave our comfort zones. But sometimes we need even more of a push- like a carrot on a stick (a phrase which will forever conjure an image of Hattytown Tales in my mind.) For highschoolers, graduation credit is a big carrot. It can push you to do all sorts of things- even (gasp!) help someone.

Should community service be motivated solely for selfish gain? Of course not. But if a few teens actually have a good time painting fingernails in an Alzheimer's unit, even though they would never in a million years have come up with that idea on their own, it's worth it. In an ideal world, we would all pitch in to help in whatever way we can best be used, out of the kindness and love in our hearts, while Shiny Happy People plays in the background. But in real life, we don't want to. We're too busy. We're scared. We don't know what we're good at doing or where to begin. How can we expect teens to understand themselves well enough to know what they can do well? I'm almost thirty and still trying to start figuring that out.

Yes, in an ideal world, our actions would follow our pure motivations. But this is not an ideal world. It is a fallen one. And sometimes, our actions help to trigger our motivations. It's like the give and take in a relationship- sometimes I spend time with my husband because I love him. Sometimes I spend time with him because I should, and am reminded why I love him. The same thing happens with God. So why shouldn't it happen with serving God and His people? Sometimes we say the creed or pray the prayer or ladle the soup or hold the wrinkled hand because we love our God and His children. But sometimes we do it because we ought to, or because there is credit involved, and then we fall in love. The most beautiful result of all would be if we then went back to that same service after all credits had been handed out, just because it fits. Because we like it. Kind of like a favorite Bible verse- "taste and see!"

And THAT is what I wish I would have said.


And now, since this was a little heavy and laden with links, here is one final link to give your brain a break. While I advocate no thank you bites, this borders on freaky peer pressure. But its a catchy little song, and Big Sister likes it: YoGabbaGabba: Try It and here is an obligatory picture from the pageant. It's the talent portion- no way am I posting the flapper dress.

Bad Mom Confession #2

I am a HUGE cloth diapering advocate. Ask me if you should try it and I can come up with a million reasons why you should get on this website and order your first diapers today. After the initial c-section recovery period when other people were doing laundry for me, I have only purchased about three packs of disposable diapers for Little Sister- these were for traveling. Otherwise, we use only cloth diapers and cloth wipes. But...

I confess that I have thrown out no less than two pairs of Big Sis's "big girl underwear" when she has had a gross accident. Makes no sense, right? I will add that the first time occurred before we were routinely washing cloth diapers, and I had no clue how to (or desire to) go about washing them. The second time, well, I found them tied up in a bag that had been tossed in my laundry room. Yeah. Not sure if that actually helps to paint this confession in a better light or further grosses you out and makes you want to bring a can of Lysol when you come to visit. But, it is what it is...

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Red Carpet Ready...

This is one of Big Sister's latest ensembles. She was wearing it while she played with Nana in her room the other day. I don't know if Nana had any role in helping her to accessorize, but knowing Hannah, it was probably all her. She had a great time (as always) playing with her Nana and Papa, too. As she gets older, she is getting better able to express how much she misses them when they head back to Ohio. Fortunately, they have lots of fun with her too and make it a point to come down to visit as often as they can. Here are some pics of fun with Nana & Papa.

When Kevin is President...

On the Thursday night before Easter, Hubby and I went to see our friend Kevin in an amateur comedy competition. Actually, Hubby and I and 1/3 of our church went, which was a little awkward because you are never promised clean humor at a comedy club. There were eleven people competing in this round, from the very funny to the very... well... unfunny. As someone with an unusually high empathy level, I got really uncomfortable for a few of the people. Like I-want-to-run-out-of-the-room-in-embarrassment-for-you-but-instead-I'll-just-go-to-the-bathroom-and-hide-during-the-judges-comments uncomfortable. You know what else made me uncomfortable? The number of grown men who thought the only way to be funny was to refer to a certain part of their anatomy. I hung out with frat guys in college- it takes a lot to make me cringe, but there were definitely some cringe-worthy moments that night. And then the host kept pointing out how many baptists were in the room, which just made it more awkward, as if that were an excuse for why no one found the 110th penis joke to be hilarious. Nope, I think it's just the jokes.

Aside from middle-school humor, it was a fun night. The three people who won totally deserved it, especially since one of them was Kevin! He gets to go back on Mother's Day weekend and compete in the semifinals. He is also going to be having an event this coming weekend to raise money for the Relay for Life. It's called Kevin K. Lewis: When I'm President. So, if you're local and you want to hear some award winning comedy, check out the link. It will be a lot of fun and benefit a great cause.


Disclaimer: By promoting this event, I am in no way offering my endorsement for Kevin K Lewis as president. I will have to wait until I hear his platform at the event on April 18. Plus also, I am not ready for any talk of new presidents as I am still celebrating our current Commander in Cheif. Sorry, Kevin. Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday Buddy.

Easter Gratitude

Here are some things I'm thankful for today:

1. Cute little girls in cute little Easter dresses.
2. Being able to fit into my Easter dress.
3. Doting relatives that made Easter at our house look like Christmas. Not only were my parents here, but they brought gifts from other people who love my girls like grandparents too. Thanks Aunt Lala & Sue Sue!
4. HAM. You remember the dad on A Christmas Story? That's me with a honeybaked ham. I love animals, but I'm pretty sure I would shoot the Bumpus hounds. Sophie got the evil eye tonight when she got too close to my leftovers. That's another reason I love ham- LOTS of leftovers. Hubby is tired of it after the first day, but I'll eat it until its gone (or in the freezer for beans or soup. yum!)
   
5. Being able to blog again! Fifteen minutes just wasn't enough. There are some entries from the past month that literally took me a week to write. But no more! Now I can be as verbose as I want to be- is that groaning I hear?
   
6. All that I learned from my limited blog/facebook/e-mail lenten experience. I read more, cleaned more, played more, and just tried to be still more. I definitely am less dependent on the computer to occupy my time. It helps that the new Facebook format came about during this endeavor. I haven't had the time to figure it out completely, and that makes wasting time on it a little less appealing.
7. Being able to cook meat again. I was getting a little tired of the same meatless meals over and over again, and I've got some stuff in the freezer I really need to use. Plus, now we can have real SKYLINE...
8. (on the flip side) Having more options to eat meatless. We already tried to limit our meat and buy mostly free range, but now that we've had a (mostly) meatless lent we have a few new options. The Morningstar Farms "chicken" strips are actually quite good and cheaper than the chicken I usually buy (Thanks, Penny!). We also discovered that my husband will in fact eat tofu... By the way, I said "mostly meatless" because I didn't cook meals with meat, but when Big Sister & I ate by ourselves or when we were out to eat, Hubs was on his own.
9. Electricity! We were without power for eight hours or more on Friday, and then again for a few hours this morning. It's amazing the things you can't do when the power is out. I'm also thankful that we didn't have any tree or roof damage with all of the storms. A lot of people around here weren't so fortunate.
10. Relatively healthy kids. Our family is dealing with the pollen and the weird weather changes- we all have stuffy noses and scratchy throats. Big Sister has started with a cough, and I didn't take Little Sister to the nursery yesterday because I didn't want to be that mom who shares her kid's gunk with the rest of the church. But when I read blogs like Bring the Rain or my charming kids I am overwhelmed by the blessing of my two healthy children. I've been learning a lot about this lately. Expect a lengthy post about it soon.
11. A small bit of grace. March was a rough month for my organization skills- I missed paying a few bills on time, including our credit card. This resulted in a $39 late fee!!! I know, I know. All of you Dave Ramsey nazis out there are judging me for even having a credit card. But we pay it off every month and try to just use it for gas, groceries, or things Hubby will have reimbursed from the church. We get great rewards points and hope to go to Disney with them when both girls can enjoy it. So there. Stop making me feel so defensive! Anyway, I remember reading that if you always pay your bill on time you can ask the company to forgive your late payment. Apparently a lot of times they do, because they would have to spend a lot more to find a customer to replace you than they would to just keep you happy. So today I called the credit card company. Not only did they take away the late fee, but I had the most pleasant conversation with the lady helping me. Small stuff, I know, but it made my day a lot brighter!
12. BIG grace. Citibank forgave us $39, but God has forgiven me for things that make me shudder when I remember them. Citibank forgave me because they wanted to keep me as a customer. They love my money. God forgives because He wants me; He loves me. Forgiving me $39 will barely cost a thing to a multimillion dollar company like Citigroup. Forgiving me cost Jesus everything. Citibank charged me the fee and reluctantly offered me forgiveness only when I researched, called and asked for it. God made a way for us to be forgiven and delights when we accept it. Citibank will probably not forgive me a second time, but because of the death of Jesus, every awful thing I did or will do is forgiven. Because of the love of Jesus, I am inspired to love more & try harder. And because of the resurrection of Jesus, I'm certain that His promise of abundant life, both in this world & the next, is true. I'm so thankful for the story of Easter.

Song for (Easter) Sunday

I can't believe we didn't sing this one in church. It just doesn't seem like Easter without it.

Low in the Grave He Lay
words & music by Robert Lowry

Low in the grave He lay, Jesus my Savior,
Waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord!

Vainly they watch His bed, Jesus my Savior;
Vainly they seal the dead, Jesus my Lord!

Up from the grave He arose,
With a mighty triumph o’er His foes,
He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
And He lives forever, with His saints to reign.
He arose! He arose!
Hallelujah! Christ arose!

Song for Sunday: How I Trust Him

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

A New Mommy Milestone

Last Friday night, I went in to comfort a fussing Little Sister and saw Big Sister sit up in bed. It's not unusual for her to wake up when her sister does, so I didn't worry. Until I heard it. It started out like a cough, and at first I thought, "oh crud, she's going to need a drink of water and this better not take too long because I want to get back into bed." But then the noise changed, and it took me only a second or two to realize what it was--- she was throwing up! I sat Little Sister in her crib, called for back-up, and went to help Big Sister. I soon discovered that she was only half-way awake, not sure of what was going on. Not only did this mean that she was completely freaked out, but it also meant she was not aiming- at least as much as a three-and-a-half-year-old can aim. Instead she just kind of looked like one of those rotating lawn sprinklers- covering her pillow, her sheets, her stuffed animals, her bed rail, whatever. If it was in the general vicinity, it was now... well... you know.

So, here we were, in the middle of the night, stripping the bed & scrubbing the kid. Big Sister felt terrible- and not just physically. She kept apologizing like it was Crayola marker & not vomit that she had gotten all over the bed. At one point, while I was washing her face and hair and trying to reassure her, she just exclaimed, "I threw-up on Bun-Bun!" and started to cry again. (Actually, Bun-Bun fared better than some of the other stuffed animals in her bed, since he is a washable beanie bunny. A few other less lucky "guys" as she calls them just got the spot-treatment and a good dose of febreze.) But the point is that she was devastated. She actually asked, "Can you ever forgive me?" To which I replied that there was nothing to forgive because she didn't do anything wrong. I found out later that she just took that answer as a "no" and thought I actually couldn't forgive her. When she asked again, I simply said "yes." It was a better three-year-old answer, I suppose.

As I type this, I am recovering from another middle-of-the night sheet change. This time, instead of a stomach virus, our midnight adventure was caused by the three cups of water before bed. Big Sister handled it like a champ, sneaking into our room to tell us so as not to wake Little Sis. Daddy was as stealth as a cat as he changed the sheets, and we were all back in our beds in record time. Last week's practice paid off, I suppose. I just hope this doesn't become a weekly thing! A few other things I learned:

1. Obviously, no more big drinks of water before bed.
2. In retrospect, 6 stuffed animals in bed everynight is bad for several reasons, not just for the vomit-clean-up-factor. There isn't much room for even a little kid. If one falls out in the middle of the night, it can be way too much drama. Some of them need to be tucked in, and some of them can only sleep by certain others. I am hoping to set a "two-guy" limit for Little Sister.
3. Febreze is still pretty amazing. Did you know it's been around for 10 years now? (and did you know that is really how to spell it? I though it was a blend of the word "fabric" and "breeze" but not so much.) I'm usually a "baking soda & vinegar can clean just about anything" kind of person, but I'm not ready to give up my febreze. What did our parents do before it came along?
   
4. Big Sister hates "wipe off baths" even more in the middle of the night.
   
5. It is really overwhelming to a child to go through an accident or sickness in the middle of the night. Even though the grown ups want to hurry through the clean-up to get back to bed, and even though we are sleep-deprived too, encouragement, reassurance and even a little snuggling are a must. The day after our adventure, I got really sad thinking about all of the little ones out there who really are made to feel bad and "unforgiven" for things their little bodies can't control. I really wish every parent would realize the power of their words & their approval. I know this was a reminder to me!
   

5 (of the many) reasons I love my husband:

1. He is very thoughtful. He's been leaving me sweet little post-it notes lately to let me know he's thinking of me. I found one in the fabric softener dispenser, another when I put on my seatbelt to go to the bank, and another one with a heart made out of starburst. So sweet!
2. I have a good time with him. Even if that time is, like yesterday, 45 minutes spent trying to get his flaming truck out of our sloping backyard in the rain & mud. Hi, we're Mr. & Mrs. Hillbilly. Nice to meet you.
3. Even after a long day, he still finds the energy to give Big Sister horsey rides and help with bedtime. And he still tries to get up early the next morning to have time to himself and sometimes even clean up a little to surprise me.
   
4. He makes me think. We have all sorts of interesting conversations about politics, theology, sports... whatever. He is intentional about asking what I've been reading or learning; it makes for great grown-up conversation and keeps me accountable for my intellectual and spiritual growth.
   
5. He loves me even when I am poopy. Like this morning, when I fussed at him (a lot) because no one in our house slept between the hours of 3 and 5. I'm not always the nicest wife, but he always loves me. And that makes me want to be a better wife every day.
   

The Beatles describe my life...

This is just a silly thing some of my friends filled out on facebook. Dad, this is for you...

Using only song *titles* from one artist, cleverly answer these questions:

Pick a band/artist: Beatles


1. Are you a male or female: Another Girl

2. Describe yourself: I'm so tired

3. How do you feel about yourself: I am the walrus (or I Feel Fine, since my husband says the previous one doesn't make sense...)

4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: I should have known better

5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: All my loving

6. Describe your current location: In my life

7. Describe where you want to be: Strawberry Fields Forever

8. Your best friend is: Something

9. Your favorite color is: Yellow Submarine

10. You know that: I'm Happy Just to Dance with You
OR Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me & My Monkey

11. What’s the weather like: Here Comes the Sun

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: Here, There & Everywhere

13. What is life to you: All I've Got to Do

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Let It Be

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Her Majesty (hee hee)